31: Tomb Sweeping

Tomb Sweeping

As I took out my test paper, I also glanced at the CCTV monitor.0

The 4 men looked at each other and then the bags of takeout with severe expression. Brother Hu was the first to pick up the food and then the rest followed.

I turned back to focus on my math paper. When I turned up my head next, the four men had already finished eating. They cleared away the trash, put the tables and chairs aside, and filed out from the house. After they departed, I continued with my papers.

It is better to target one's heart than one's body, that was something Jing Tian taught me in my past life. My family used this method on me and it had worked. Thanks to them too, I had mastered this technique myself.

Living alone was quite comfortable, it was just that I missed Jing Tian a lot. That night, I scanned the papers I did and sent them to Jing Tian before I went down to sleep.

The next morning, I woke up on time. I took out my phone and noticed a message from Jing Tian. "Got your papers. Rest well since you're sick, don't tire yourself out."

I hugged the phone and smiled to myself. I could picture Jing Tian drafting and editing this message again and again before he sent it.

He was probably also the one who reminded Jing Ni to make the call yesterday. Then I remembered it was also Jing Tian who wanted to see me on video. When I thought of his deep voice, my heart filled with warmth.

In my previous life, I must be blind to not notice such a wonderful man by my side. But I would not make the same mistake again in this life!

...

Today, I had to leave the house and my destination was Zhi Yuan. Zhi Yuan was a cemetery. My parents were buried there.

However, I had never been there, I hadn't even visited their graves before.

Last night on a forum, I asked if there was any way to recover lost memory. Someone commented that I could try to start from the place where I lost my memory. Unfortunately, I didn't even know where that was. 

Since my rebirth, I had gained a picture of my parents but I got nowhere beyond that. Other than knowing the fact that I looked alike to my mother, I didn't know anything else. In fact, their photos couldn't even elicit any great emotional response in me.

Anything related to them in this world had been removed... other than their joint gravestone.

Therefore I decided to visit them. This journey might be for nothing but at least I would be able to fulfill my filial duty after so many years.

Zhiyuan was located at the outskirts of the city. It was too far to take a taxi so I took the subway out of the city.

I wore the same black motorcycle uniform as my mother did in the picture. But I was just a poser, I didn't know how to ride a motorcycle. I didn't feel as cool or as dashing as she was.

When I reached the outskirts, I hailed a motorcycle taxi and tried find the feeling which could have brought me closer to my motorcycling mom.

The rider dropped me outside Zhiyuan and left me with his phone number. When I needed to go back, he could give me a ride too. I thanked him.

After the motorcyclist left, I looked around. The cemetery looked so eerie and deserted. Even in broad daylight, I felt the chill of the place. Thankfully, the motorcyclist had the foresight to leave me his number or else I really had no idea how I was supposed to leave this place.

After registering at the entrance, I hiked up the stairs.

It was early autumn. The wind was a little strong and cold. But the sun was warm. Standing at the top of the steps, the sky looked bright. However, underneath the sky, the tombs rose like crooked teeth. I pulled on my hood and continued my journey.

The Nan Family Tomb was on the mountainside, it was a place with good Feng Shui. I walked past the rows of tombstones, studying them one by one. 

The people who rested here must have great stories to tell. I was never that superstitious but I had just been reborn so just on the safe side, I apologized to them for my disturbance. I hoped the clicks of my Doc Martens didn't interrupt their rest.

When I reached the Nan Family Tomb, I was already sweating slightly. I pulled back the hood and shook my hair.

I followed the trail among the family cemetery and finally found the grave of Nan Zheng and Tong Huan at a corner. According to the engraving, they were survived by their filial daughter, Nan Xing.

It was wrong, I was not a filial daughter.

I stopped before my parents' grave and studied the picture on it. It was a picture of them together. I wondered if it was from their marriage certificate because they looked so formal and reserved. Perhaps I was imagining things but I felt they were looking ever so gently at me.

I wasn't familiar with funereal etiquette. After some thoughts, I bowed to them 3 times.

"I'm sorry for not coming earlier. I'm here to visit you because I've lost memory. I can't remember anything from before 6. I feel like there is something missing in my life but I don't exactly know what that is. If you can hear me, send me a little guidance to help me find my lost memory.. Perhaps then my life will have more clarity." 

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