19: What Lay Between Us

What Lay Between Us

I fell asleep in Bai Ye's arms that night, and it was one of the best night's sleep I ever had. When I woke up to the bright golden rays spilling in through my window, my head was still resting on his shoulder, and he was already awake, stroking my cheek gently with his thumb.2

I blinked, trying to focus my groggy eyes. "You're not practicing this morning?" I asked after seeing that it wasn't a trick of the light, that he was really there lying next to me. Everything still felt like a dream.

"Didn't want to wake you up." He planted a kiss on my forehead. "You look beautiful in your sleep."

I stared at him dumbstruck. Beautiful? That word had never been associated with me in my entire life. I was pale and scrawny, my cheeks too hollow, my chin too sharp, my … breasts too small. I had been somewhat grateful for the dim lighting last night that made it harder for Bai Ye to see all those details.

Though he had probably measured everything with his hands already. My face grew hot at the thought, and I buried myself into the blanket.

"More beautiful when you blush," he scooped me out of the heap and said all too seriously.

I had no idea what kind of person he was anymore. Others at Mount Hua always thought of him as stern and forbidding, but I had only ever known his gentle side. No matter how slow or clumsy I was with new techniques, he never scolded me, and he never said or did anything that made me discouraged or embarrassed.

Except … how could he be so good at teasing me now?

"Mast—"

He swallowed my next syllable, gathering me closer. Our bodies were still bare under the bed covers, and I went limp in his arms at the warmth of his skin against mine. His kiss was slow and deep, enticing, alluring, and I felt heat starting to rise—

Then he bit my lip.

"Bai Ye!" I gasped and glared at him, though the half-sting, half-tickle wasn't exactly painful.

"Now that's better," he smirked. "It was your punishment for saying the wrong name."

I quieted at his words. Maybe the broad daylight was forcing me to meet reality face to face, it became more difficult to pretend that I had forgotten all about what lay between us. I wanted to taste his name on my tongue again and again, but I was afraid that I'd start getting too used to it and slip it out at the wrong time.

"Do you … Do you plan to keep this from everyone else?" I finally asked the question that had been on my mind for the past two days. "What if I slip out your name in front of others?"

He shrugged. "What's wrong with calling your master by his name? Do I look like someone that cares about formalities to you?"

I remembered that day at the Gatekeeper's hall, his disrespectful tone when he addressed the Gatekeeper by the name as well. True, Bai Ye was never a person constrained by rules.

But I insisted on an answer. "Are you not worried at all that they might find out about us?"

He should be, and a part of me wanted to hear him admit it. Nothing could change the fact that as master and disciple, we had committed unspeakable sins, and I didn't want to be the one to bring him such disgrace.

But a different part of me wanted to hear him say he didn't care. No matter how much I tried to convince myself, I was far from certain of his feelings for me. He was too flawless, too impossible. I knew I was being selfish, but I wanted him to tell me that he would choose me over his perfect image, that despite all the rules and norms, he would acknowledge to the whole wide world that I was his, and he was mine.

"Qing-er," he held my gaze, the look on his face now grave and solemn. "I have made my choice, and I will never regret it or try to hide it from anyone. If it eases your mind, I can swear it on my—"

"No," I pressed my palm to his lips, "don't. I believe you."

He clasped my hand. "It's wise to not believe what men tell you in bed," he said somewhat wistfully, "especially when your moans and cries can suck the souls out of them, Qing-er. For all those sounds you made last night, I think the whole Mount Hua probably knows all about us already, and your concerns won't be relevant anymore."

My blood froze at his words. "What—"

He laughed. "Though fortunately for you, I wanted to keep those sounds for my ears only, so I used a barrier spell."

I glared at him, and it took me a moment to realize that I had just been played. "Bai Ye!" Could he not stay serious for more than a minute?

"But I want you to know that I didn't do it for my own sake," he continued. "This world is unfair to women. No matter the truth, some might still claim that all of this happened because you seduced me. I can't risk putting you in harm's way." He cupped my cheek. "One day, if you think you've become strong enough that you no longer care what others think of you, I'll be proud to show everyone who my soulmate is. But before then, I won't say a word unless you tell me to."

I looked into his eyes, lost in the unwavering tender love glistening from their depths. How could I have not seen it before? How could I have doubted him?

A thousand words were on the tip of my tongue, but my lips trembled, and nothing came out.

He kissed me again. "Now let's get dressed.. I have something to show you."

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