279: Hopeful (Bai Ye's Memory)

Hopeful (Bai Ye's Memory)

Bai Ye could barely believe what he heard. It had been years since the first time he tried to discuss this with her, and none of those attempts had turned out successful. She was always too defensive, too easy to anger and to interpret anything he said as malicious accusations. Over time, he had learned to carefully steer clear of those discussions unless absolutely necessary. Never had he expected her to willingly bring it up herself.0

The sword spirit seemed to have understood his silence. The look in her eyes wavered. "It's not that I don't grasp the situation at all," she continued. "It's just that … Whenever I'm using Twin Stars, I get so carried away by it, like that power is the only thing I care about in the whole world. I don't want to hear anyone say anything against it. Sometimes, those criticisms offend me so much that I start thinking about resorting to violence to stop them, like that time when you saw me with the group of disciples at our gate …"

Bai Ye winced at the confusion crossing her face. "I know it's hard to control it," he said. "Urges like this are from the nature of Twin Stars. As the bonding deepens, it will … slowly become an inseparable part of you, and give you impulses to do things that you normally might not."

He still chose his words cautiously, and she noticed it. "Bai Ye," she replied softly, "I'm sorry … to make you have to step so carefully around me these days. I've been losing my temper too much … But I didn't mean to make everything so difficult for you. I just don't feel like myself most of the time anymore. It's rare when I feel the clarity in my mind like I do right now … and realize how much things have changed."

Bai Ye was suddenly wordless once more. She hadn't opened up to him like this for years. Even on the few occasions when she agreed to discuss things seriously, they didn't go farther than straightforward, civil conversations, and she never told him anything about what she thought or felt. This moment of clarity, in her words, was new to him, and although he didn't know why or how it happened, he was thankful that she trusted him enough again to say all of this.

But the regret in those words still made his heart clench. He strode over to her, laying his hands on her shoulders. "It's not your fault," he breathed. "This is how demonic swords act upon all of their users. And this is precisely what the ritual I found can help us with. It will let us cut off your ties with Twin Stars completely and free you from any influences it has on you."

She looked up into his eyes. "It must have been hard to find such a solution. You've been so busy lately … and I know you always hated asking people for help. You would've never tried so hard if not for me."

Bai Ye felt his heart swell. She noticed all the details, and she understood his effort. He was right all along—despite everything that happened, the girl he remembered was still there, and she still cared about him. "You know I'd do anything for you." He pulled her gently into his arms. "Don't worry, we will sort this out soon, and everything will be back to the way it used to be."

She nodded and pressed her cheek to his chest. They hadn't been so close to each other like this for a long time, and Bai Ye had almost forgotten how comforting it was to hold her, how peaceful the silence between them could still turn out to be. For a moment, he let himself pretend that all their problems and struggles had vanished, and he simply held her firmly, losing himself in the feeling of finally having her in his embrace again.

He was almost disappointed when she broke that silence. "What are you writing about this time?" she asked.

He recalled the half-done letters on his desk then. "Do you still remember Nine Rivers?" he breathed against her ear, not letting her out of his arms.

"The town where you first taught me how to catch a fish?" She chuckled. "Of course I do. I also remember how drenched and covered in mud I was after that trip. I was almost mad at you."

Bai Ye laughed. "You WERE mad at me," he said, and he couldn't help holding her even tighter, thrilled at the thought that she hadn't forgotten all those silly memories between them. "I'll be leaving for Nine Rivers tomorrow. It's the closest town to the sect Chu Yang wants to visit. I wish you could come with us … Maybe next time, after the situation gets better with Twin Stars, and when I get to go somewhere for a less boring purpose, you might be interested enough to join me again."

He could feel the girl smile against his chest. "You've been to so many new places in the past few years without me. You'll have to show me all of them." She raised her chin to look at him. "If I'm still obsessed with Twin Stars by then, you'll have to remind me that there are many more things in this world worth my attention and worth living for, other than those swords."

He gazed into her eyes, and he saw the twinkles in them that had been gone for too long. "I promise," he said, and he brushed his lips lightly against hers. "We will make up for everything we missed together all these years, and more. I won't let Twin Stars take you away from me."

At that moment, he believed firmly in every word he said. He felt more hopeful than he ever did in years, and he was certain that the day they wished for would be upon them in the very, very near future.

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