238: HURT EVEN DEEPER

HURT EVEN DEEPER

BACK at the mansion provided for the Conde and his retinue, the three who had gone to the palace were reunited with Janea who had been waiting anxiously for them. To discuss what happened, the four were once again seen walking on the snow-covered garden.1

"How was it?" Janea asked, he couldn't hide the nervousness in his voice.

Argent decided to answer this question. "Everything went most accordingly to what we expected. There's only one problem. Sergey Orlov was not the one who met us nor was he the crown prince. It was someone named Ilya Orlov."

Janea promptly stopped walking when he heard that. "W-what?"

"He had blue-black hair and pale blue eyes," Argent continued. "Was he the 'snake' that you mentioned to us?"

Janea's body trembled because of extreme anger. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. That bastard Ilya was now the crown prince? What sort of bullshit was that? It's like the whole world was making a huge joke on him. 

He couldn't accept it. Not the fact that the person who betrayed him was living so comfortably nor the fact that even to this day he still felt hurt by that betrayal. He shouldn't. What he should feel was only anger. But the fact that there was still a part of him that felt sad and hurt by what Ilya did was the embodiment of 'betrayal' in itself.

He's not only betraying himself, he was also betraying his mother who's currently trapped somewhere in that heinous imperial palace. And yet, he still couldn't let go of all the memories he had of Ilya. 

Janea felt like the ground he was standing on was slowly crumbling under his feet. Until he felt a gentle but firm hand on his shoulder. He raised his head and saw Jaxon looking at him. He didn't say anything. But his gaze was enough to make the gloomy air around him slowly dissipate. It was like the other was telling him that everything would be alright. 

Having someone giving him support other than his mother was a rare feeling. Was this how it felt to have a father? He pursed his lips at that thought. Although the two of them had reached a consensus, it didn't mean that he had wholeheartedly forgiven the other.

Still, he didn't brush away the warm hand on his shoulder.

"Can you tell us about this Ilya Orlov?" Jaxon asked in a gentle tone.

He could tell just by looking at his son just how much this Ilya Orlov affected the other. The disliked he had already felt for that prince earlier became even more intense because of this. 

Janea was silent. Not because he didn't want to say anything, but rather, he didn't know where or how to begin.

"I don't want to be the bad guy here, but you should know that time is of the essence. We need every information that could help us in this mission. This is not the time for any kind of hesitation," Argent said. 

She was sure that the other already heard what she didn't voice out. That if he wanted to save his mother, then hesitation was not allowed. 

Of course, Janea understood it immediately. There's probably no one here who understood the implication of what Argent said more than him. But explaining about Ilya meant that he also had to tell everyone about his past. Everyone including the man considered to be his father.

He gazed down and closed his eyes. Opening up his past wounds to other people had never been something he wanted to do. But he also understood that it was something he had to do now if he wanted to save his mother.

He took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and began telling the others about Ilya.

And about his past. 

"Ilya is one of the emperor's many illegitimate children. But unlike them, he was allowed to live in the palace. He's the second one of the emperor's illegitimate children to be allowed there. The first one was, of course, Sergey. Even though they're both emperor's sons, their treatment couldn't be any more different.

"Sergey was given the title of a prince while Ilya's presence was barely acknowledged by the emperor, as well as the people living in the palace. You might think that it was because of the pedigree of their mothers, but no. It was simply because of the fact that Sergey inherited the features common to all the past emperors of Kievan. When in truth, his mother was just one of the many palace maids in the castle who was immediately executed the moment she gave birth.

"But Ilya was different. His mother was a member of the royal family. A direct cousin of the emperor, in fact. But because he inherited his mother's features, he was treated worse than an ordinary kitchen maid. Under normal circumstance, at least in this country's idea of normal, he would be left to his mother. But her mother detested his very existence.

"Yes, the emperor forced himself to his cousin and she became pregnant. It's a crime to abort the seed of the emperor. So, she had no choice but to keep the child. Harboring deep resentments for her unborn baby, it's not surprising that she abandoned him the moment he was born. Then, she fled from the country and never came back."

Of course, all of that he found out later once he became acquainted with Ilya. He took a pause before continuing; 

"I met Ilya 10 years ago. He was six and I was seven."

They met as a pure accident. Just because the other was thrown by the servants to the dungeon where Janea was being kept. There, in that damped, cold cell where he could barely feel any sunlight, someone reached out their hand to him. They smiled and asked to be his friend.

For the first time, in his short existence, someone other than his mother made him happy.

That's why Ilya's betrayal hurt even deeper.

Janea gazed down, hiding the emotions in his eyes as he remembered everything.

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