367: Not Me

Not Me

~ ZEV ~1

Zev reached the cookfires earlier than Sasha and he waited, constantly scanning all the entrances to the clearing, staying on his feet because he had too much energy.

He hadn't seen Sasha for hours, and even though he knew she was safe—he'd been able to smell her track up to the females, and no trail coming down—he wasn't going to rest until she was there in front of him and he could touch her.

Waking up that morning without her, with the faint scent of Nick in his nostrils, had been even more unsettling than he'd realized. He'd been jumpy and short-tempered all day, until even Jhon told him to go get some sleep or something, and get himself under control.

He'd had to shift and go for a run, look for Skhal and deliver Sasha's exciting message, just to get himself moving so his skin would stop itching with tension.

Dunken had looked at him worriedly more than once since he'd come to the cook clearing, but he hadn't said anything, for which Zev was grateful.

A burst of laughter sounded over near the other fire and Zev startled but turned and shared smiles with a couple of the males over at the table. One of them beckoned him over and he want, just for something to put his mind on.

Was Sasha going to skip dinner again? Should he take her some food?

When he joined the table, the males were mostly laughing and excited—even with the females keeping mostly to themselves, the male's moods were all lifted by the sheer fact that they were near and could be scented. But they had questions, too.

"I heard that a couple of them came out overnight—did they have mates, or were they just joining their family?"

"I don't know," Zev answered apologetically. "But I'm sure Sasha will. I'll ask her when she gets here—"

"There were scents in the group I didn't recognize. New females. Will we get to meet them soon? Are they staying?"

"Yes, I'm sure they'll stay. But at least a couple of the made females are probably going to have a lot of adjustment, so be patient—"

"How did she do it, Zev? How did she convince them?"

Zev shrugged and gave a small laugh. "I really don't know. I just know she's amazing and—"

"And it's embarrassing when you talk about me when I'm not here," a quiet voice said from behind him.

Zev whirled. Why hadn't he scented her? But the wind was flowing in the wrong direction.

"Sash!" he pulled her into a hug like they'd been apart for days. She laughed and made light of it in front of the other males, but her eyes kept straying to his, concern and questions painted in them.

"I need to talk to you. I'm—" She cut herself off from apologizing and Zev smiled, nodding. She was learning.

"Of course," he said, leaning down to brush a kiss on her lips. "The company here stinks anyway."

The males gave a rousing chorus of protests, but their shouts of mock indignation soon turned to shouted insults at each other, and laughter. So Zev followed Sasha out of the clearing and back into the City proper.

"Are you okay?" he asked her quickly when her shoulders slumped.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine," she said, emphasizing the "I'm." "I'm just worried about Mae and the other females."

They walked on a few more steps, then Sasha, as if she'd made a decision, took his hand and led him through the Courtyard towards the main building, then up the stairs, and finally to their bed-chamber.

Zev's brows went up—was she going to suggest—?

But no, she closed the door behind them then turned to him, her face a pained mask.

"What is it?" he asked quickly.

"I'm really fine," she said flapping her hand. "I just… I need you to tell me something, and answer honestly. Don't tell me what you think I want to hear, okay?"

"I… sure. What is it?" he said, nerves trilling in his stomach.

Sasha took a deep breath. "Is it true that Chimeran males would reject their mates if it turns out that she can't have offspring?" Sasha folded her arms after she presented the question as if she was afraid of his answer and thought she needed a shield.

Zev's brows popped up. "What brought this up? Just because you weren't pregnant? Sasha, it can take months, years even—"

"No, no, this really isn't about me. I know you'd never leave me, Zev," she said, though her eyes did look a little less tight. "Poor Mae… the reason she ran from her mate last night is because she's convinced that when he learns she can't have offspring, he's going to reject her. And I just… it just kills me to think that. Because look at Kyelle. I'm sure there's going to be others because of what these sick fucks have done. And I need to know how the males are going to react? Because I don't want to encourage these women—who are already broken—into the arms of males that are going to break them further when they learn the truth. So, tell me, Zev…. Do Chimeran males reject females who can't have babies?"

Zev blew out a breath and raked a hand through his hair. "In a general sense… if it was known that a female was barren… I mean, yes, probably. Unless there was a Heart's Song between them, chances are most males would pass her up to choose someone who could bear them children."

"Bastards," Sasha snarled. "Seriously?"

"It's in our nature, Sash. A part of our animal instincts—we choose the best mate we can find for breeding."

"Except you," she said bitterly.

Zev frowned. "Sash, do we need to talk about—"

"No. No, I won't get distracted. I just… these poor women, Zev. They're gone three years, then they come back to their mates and their mates won't take them now?!"

She looked… angry and frightened and… what was going on?

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