219: Chapter 219 I don't deserve your sadness

Chapter 219 I don't deserve your sadness

However, it was only a split second. It was so short that I almost thought that what had just happened was an illusion. He didn't shed any tears. I also wanted to convince myself that I did n' t hurt him. 1

But An Qingze red eyes couldn't tell a lie. He tried his best to make himself laugh." Hur hur, it's probably because Lechuang's been too busy recently. I'm under too much pressure and my eyes are sore."

He avoided my gaze, but this only made my heart feel more uneasy and sore.

I couldn't stand there so calmly anymore. I grabbed An Qingze hand and said," An Qingze, do n' t be like this, okay?" "It's really hard for me to feel like this."

However, the more I grabbed An Qingze hand, the more his tears fell uncontrollably. My heart was about to burst out from my chest. What exactly did I do? I actually hurt An Qingze like this! I actually let An Qingze shed tears in front of me!

"An Qingze, I'm sorry. I' m really sorry." I said it repeatedly in pain. I didn't know what else to do. An Qingze tears were like starlight, piercing deep into my soul. Many years ago, we had met. I had seen fragile An Qingze, uncomfortable An Qingze, and elegant An Qingze. But I've never seen such a helpless An Qingze.

He was like a child, a child who tried hard to be stubborn, but he could not succeed. His tears were like a broken pearl necklace, falling like a crystal, burning my soul. Never had I felt like I had hurt this person so deeply.

From the past until now, no matter when, An Qingze always protected me from the back. When I lost everything, the man who had been talking behind me all the time, and I, who would always protect and wait, would never give up, felt so uncomfortable for my refusal and escape.

Besides being sorry, I really didn't know what else to say to him. I felt very uncomfortable in my heart, but I felt pretentious even when I said that I felt uncomfortable. I felt that I was not worthy. I felt that An Qingze sadness made me sad. In front of him, it was just an affectation and perfunctoriness.

I almost couldn't control myself anymore. I wanted to hug the man in front of me, the man who had always taken me seriously. I can't hurt him like this. I should be by his side. But I couldn't make up my mind. It was n' t easy for me to walk to Qi Mu's side again, and we had just gotten into bed this morning.

"An Qingze, take a good look at me. It's really not worth it for you to treat me so well." I smiled bitterly. His swollen eyes made my tears fall uncontrollably.

An Qingze looked at me, and after a few seconds, it was as if silence had formed a space between us for thousands of years. He opened his mouth to say something when his phone whistled. An Qingze paused for a moment and picked up the phone. In just a few seconds, his expression was as terrifying as if it was about to split apart.

An Qingze put down his phone and was about to leave with a pale face. I quickly pulled him back." What happened? What happened?"

An Qingze expression was very strange. He glanced at me in a daze and frowned deeply.

After a long time, he sighed and said," The hospital has called. Something Su Mei happened."

An Qingze and I rushed to the hospital and didn't see Su Mei. The doctor hurriedly said that they had already been pushed into the hospital. An Qingze hesitated for a moment and said to the doctor," Well, she's pregnant."

The female doctor wore a mask and looked around at the hand that An Qingze and I were holding together. I could clearly see the disdain in her eyes. I subconsciously let go of An Qingze hand and the female doctor said unhappily," I've already pushed her in to save her. As for the child, it's definitely not safe." "You shouldn't be thinking about children right now. You should first think about whether adults can keep it."

The doctor had told me that I had no place to hide my face and An Qingze face turned green. However, Su Mei he was lying inside for emergency treatment, he couldn't say anything. He could only silently endure it and did n' t say anything.

An Qingze and I sat down on a stool at the entrance of the rescue room. I looked at him with my head tilted and my temples were covered in sweat. They were tightly together before falling down.

"An Qingze, it's fine. It' ll be fine." I covered his hand.

An Qingze turned around and smiled bitterly." The doctor told me earlier that she jumped on her own and the child must be gone now. "Do you think I killed my own flesh and blood?"

My heart skipped a beat. Did I jump down? When Su Mei left, that determined gaze was reflected in my mind again. I felt so guilty that I was going to die, but I found it unbelievable. I didn't expect that Su Mei would really be so ruthless towards me.

She actually committed suicide and still brought the child in her stomach with her. It was too cruel! This was too decisive!

An Qingze also frowned in self-blame." It's my fault. If I had rejected her the first time she came Lechuang looking for me and did n' t give her any hope, perhaps she wouldn't have walked this path. It was all my fault. Actually, I already knew that it was impossible to be together. I already knew that I would leave her behind in the end. "I'm just unwilling. I' m just unwilling to give up on you. I'm unwilling to leave alone when you have Qi Mu."

An Qingze hugged me and didn't let me see his painful face. My heart was aching again and again. Even now, at this time, facing Su Mei determined suicide, the root of An Qingze guilt was still that he should not have accepted the Su Mei. It wasn't that he should n' t love me and cherish this Su Mei that deeply loved him.

I knew I didn't deserve it. I did n' t deserve all the sadness An Qingze felt. Compared to what Su Mei had done for him, I had been wasting my love that had dragged him down. He was good, his gentleness, and his desperate gamble.

"An Qingze, can you stop looking for me? How about you treat Su Mei well? As long as you agreed to be with her from now on, Su Mei would definitely be very happy. As long as you agreed, she would be fine. Otherwise, even if she managed to escape this time, how could you guarantee that she would never miss it again?

An Qingze, don't worry about me. I do n' t deserve it. It's not worth it. "She treats you so well. She really loves you so much that she can die. You can't let her down."

An Qingze looked at me for a long time and suddenly said," Then what about me?" What about my love? What about the person I want? What about the happiness I want? I also love you and can die for you. What about you? "Are you going to let me down?"

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