438: Chapter 438 reconciled?

Chapter 438 reconciled?

He put down his phone and felt even more depressed. In the empty house, Qi Mo couldn't come out and the crescent moon did n' t come back. An Qingze worked overtime in the Lechuang again. His exhaustion seemed to have something to do with his depression. Especially when the sky was dim and the lights were not on at home, I would feel particularly depressed. Being alone would magnify his frustration. As for me, I was the one who was sinking into it, and it was hard to extricate myself. In fact, in a sense, I really hated this kind of sinking. I especially hated this kind of indestructible body, but I didn't have the ability to escape the pain of my soul. 2

I wanted to find someone to chat, but with my phone in hand, I didn't know who to call. Su Mei was pregnant and I didn't want to bother her. It was already very difficult for her. Besides, my pain was nothing compared to what she had endured and suffered. Qin Mi couldn't figure out what she was thinking. Just like An Qingze told the truth, she was still an unstable factor. Qin Mi, it's my sister. I need to protect her more. I do n' t want to vent my unhappiness with her anymore. I know Qin Mi will definitely blame me again.

Then, my finger touched a number without a signature. When I realized that I had stayed too long, I had been in a daze for more than ten minutes. That name lingered in my mind. It even jumped into my chest and wanted to jump out uncontrollably. I covered my chest. I still knew what I couldn't do. But things like Shinian were simply not human words. It wasn't something you could easily forget if you wanted to.

I don't want to be selfish. I do n' t want to find him every time I need warmth, so I can't find him. But even if I didn't want to be selfish, my thoughts were still selfish. I thought about the last time Qi Mu said that she wanted to paint for me. What should I do with her tears? If she couldn't come out, she could n' t come out. I habitually pressed my lips tightly. There was nothing to say, and there was no tears flowing. What kind of feeling was this? It was probably as if he loved someone very much but couldn't say anything. After thinking about it, he turned around and walked away. It was the same feeling.

He called Qi Mo down to eat and then packed his things. These were all things he did every day. But today, he was extremely tired. After finishing everything, I sat on the sofa in the living room facing the empty room. Everything seemed to be fine. But, was this really the life I wanted? The persistence of those young years, the struggle of those painful memories, the giving up of those passionate and bitter memories, could it be that it was for the current life? Now, food, rice, oil, salt, and so on? I was a little puzzled. Perhaps I wasn't old enough, but I still had expectations and hopes. But clearly, I had already made a choice. I knew that I shouldn't have hesitated or doubted. However, such emotions could not be controlled at all. Moreover, the more he tried to suppress them, the more violent they became. In the end, such a restless mood almost drowned me.

That word was spinning in my mind. Yes, I was willing. I asked myself, are you really willing? He couldn't love, he could n' t hate, he couldn't beg, and his freedom was restricted. Was he willing?

Then I finally thought of someone, Misisi.

"I didn't expect you to call me." Misisi first sentence wasn't nonsense, it was n' t meaningless small talk. After all these years of experience, she had become a more concise and capable woman.

"I, actually, I want to talk to you." I said.

After he finished speaking, he felt that his words were dull, dry and pale.

However, as if Misisi immediately understood what I wanted to say, she said softly," Yes, well, I also thought that we must be able to talk."

I was stunned for a moment. Misisi voice was really gentle. It was like a stream of water flowing in and out. It carried the clarity and purity of many years ago, as well as the determination and persistence of these years. I like such a woman. Many years ago, I had already liked her very much. Unfortunately, after all these years, the misunderstanding between us, the mistakes we had made in the past, and the exhaustion that we had all struggled with in each other's pain and depression for too long. No wonder Qin Xiaoyao liked Misisi so much. In the end, he was my brother. The people he admired were all similar.

"How are you doing now?" I asked her. I don't know if I' m suddenly interested in her life or if I'm just trying to find clues in her life's trajectory to comfort me in my flustered and dispirited thoughts.

Misisi's voice was very clear and beautiful, as if it was a young girl." Yes, I' ve had a very peaceful life."

I pursed my lips. That was the word. I had pushed Qi Mu away countless times, and I told him word by word that An Qingze could never promise me peace.

"Calm down, is that all right?" I continued asking.

Misisi paused for a moment before saying," I don't know. To be honest, I know how to think about this. "I think you'll probably think about it too. You' ll ask me if I'm willing to live my life at this moment, and if I' m willing to live my life at this moment."

My heart trembled. Misisi words and sentences were all on the abyss of my soul. They hung in the air as if they were questioning my stubbornness, whether it was worth it, and whether my pursuit was true or not.

"Actually, I think that even those who believe in peace in the beginning will have doubts. Qin Ke Then, when you suspect that you were born, what would you do if it was you from the past, if it was you in your early 20s, if it was you who was alive, if it was you who could run recklessly for what you wanted to do?" Misisi asked me.

Then, we fell silent. There seemed to be many voices in the air. I, if it was me, if it was me like that, I understood what she meant. Back then, I, who had not experienced the wind and rain and had not been beaten down by reality again and again, who was pure like a piece of white paper, what would I do?

I think I will leave.

I said," Misisi, I think I will escape all of this. I will say goodbye without hesitation. If it were my life at that time, I wouldn't allow my life to be full of doubt. Moreover, at that time, I didn't like to wait. I was in a rush. I could n' t wait. I felt like everything was going to change. "There's only continuous progress, only continuous change. I must have thought that way, and I will do everything I can to do it."

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