48: Farewell to life and death

Farewell to life and death

That night, the plane landed in City T at 8 o'clock on time. It was a night breeze and finally stood at the entrance of the hospital. I was a little timid. What if it was worse than I thought?

When Lu Xuan saw that I was hesitating, she held my hand and took me inside. She didn't give me the chance to refuse. She walked into the hospital hall with Lu Xuan. I felt that it would be pretentious to do this like this. She patted Lu Xuan and motioned him to let go of me. I went to ask Grandma's room.

When I saw Grandma, she was already asleep. I didn't dare to disturb her. I looked at her through the window for a long time. She lay quietly on her back, her sickly face pale. She had a ventilator hanging on her thin cheeks, as if she would fall down at any moment.

Tears welled up in my eyes as my heart was filled with cotton. The last time I left, someone who had been fine was lying there lifeless. I said I wanted to be nice to Grandma, but I didn't even manage to take care of her at all...

I was lying on the glass for almost half an hour, feeling remorseful and vexed. Lu Xuan didn't disturb me. When I remembered that it was n' t time for my injuries, I turned to look for him but didn't see anyone. There was n' t a single person in the corridor of the white and dense ward, but I always heard footsteps that were close to but far away. I shivered uncontrollably and was a little scared by the sudden eerie feeling.

I turned around to look at Grandma and kept giving me psychological hints. I'm not alone, I' m not alone, I'm not alone...

"Lu Yan?"

I suddenly turned around, closed my eyes, leaned against the door, and opened my mouth to scream. Before I could make a sound, I was covered with my mouth and nose. It wasn't very hard, but it was enough to prevent me from making a sound.

"It's me! Do n' t shout!" "This is the hospital." I calmed down and listened carefully. Wasn't it just Lu Xuan? It scared me to death. The outside of the hospital looked quite imposing, and the interior was not really warm enough.

"Where did you go?" I patted my chest twice, and my face was still in shock. My voice was a little weak.

He glanced at me and wiped away the sweat on my forehead." What are you thinking?" "You scared me like this?"

Eh... It was clearly my first question, okay? Would it turn ugly after answering? !

Moreover, I wouldn't admit that I should n' t be scared by myself!

"I want to stay with Grandma tonight. Tomorrow, I'll check on Grandma's condition." At the end of the sentence, I quickly tossed that little incident to the back of my mind.

Lu Xuan nodded in agreement with me and pulled me to a chair to sit down. I thought he had something to say to me, but I just stuffed the takeout into my hands.

"Eat something first and take the medicine later. Your expression isn't very good."

I touched my face. I didn't care. I thought it would be fine if I did n' t feel dizzy. I've never been seriously ill, but I' ve been going through a lot of trouble over and over again for a few days. Now that I've thought about it, I' m just giving up on my medicine. I don't care about it, and I do n' t have anyone to supervise me. I'm used to it over time.

I opened the lunch box. It was my favorite congee. I looked at it and thought for a long time. Other than Grandma, only he had taken care of me so well when I was sick. Yes, he was the only one who didn't even notice that Lu Chenjun did n' t like to take medicine when I was sick.

"Hurry up and eat. It'll be cold soon."

His calm voice brought me back to reality. I patted my face to wake me up. His little consideration had shaken my heart. It was truly unproductive.

So far, he hadn't been willing to take the initiative to bring up Lu He with me. It could be seen that he did n' t take my reaction that day seriously. I cursed myself for being ridiculous. I've already made up my mind and even secretly hoped that he would be honest with me. It was clearly meaningless, was n' t it?

I scooped up a spoonful of porridge and put it into my mouth. The porridge and the egg melted in the mouth. It was slippery but not greasy. I swallowed the faint and special taste of the egg. Even the taste of the porridge made me favor him, but I could only remain indifferent.

"Lu Xuan, what will happen to you if I go abroad to study?"

I drank the porridge one by one. It seemed like I had no intention of looking at him, but I didn't dare to look at him. As soon as I finished speaking, the corridor fell into an empty silence, as if the question I had thrown out was extremely superfluous.

After a long time, I felt that the more I ate the porridge, the more tasteless it became. I wanted to see how his reaction was. As soon as I raised my head, I bumped into his solemn and affectionate eyes. He seemed to have been looking at me with this kind of gaze from the beginning, and before I could see his entire expression, he had already turned his head and left me a proud side face.

"Now that things are happening, we can only do that."

When I heard him say that, I couldn't help but feel a sharp pain. Did I really not care? Even if I was about to leave him, he did not want to try to persuade me to stay.

"Then will you..." break up with me?

"Lu Yan." Just before I asked if I wanted to ask him, he called out my name. I looked at him in embarrassment and noticed the indifference in his eyes.

"If you have to do this, take good care of yourself. I'll wait for you."

My eyes instantly turned red. Tears filled my eyes as I slapped the back of my hand, crying and laughing again. Even though my heart ached to death, I still tried my best to pull out a big smile.

"Fool, I lied to you. Grandma was found by my brother. I can't do anything to her."

My tears were still falling down on the ground, and I still wanted to keep smiling.

Lu Xuan eyes were deep and looked at me quietly for a while. Finally, I sighed deeply and helplessly wiped away my crying face. I grabbed his hand that was half wiped away and threw it into his embrace without any warning. I sobbed to my heart's content. The hand that held his neck tightened again and again, wishing I could cling to him.

"Since you're crying like this, I' m always by your side, idiot."

He gently kissed my hair, gentle and loving.

I cried because I suddenly realized that I really liked him. I liked him so much that I didn't want to leave him. I did n' t even want to bother about the secret past between him and Lu He. Perhaps he didn't let go of Lu He, but what did that have to do with it? Only he had a bit of a place in his heart to stay for me!

He said that I was waiting for you, which made me feel gratified but also dangerous. He had clearly made a decision that was as strong as a mountain a moment ago, because his words were instantly defeated. It was too easy for him to shake me. Over time, he would become my weakness and become an absolute factor to restrain me.

I don't want to be like this. I' m an independent and proud individual. I want to have love, and I'm willing to pay a lot for it, but I must not let love become my fetters.

Therefore, I made up my mind once again. I wanted to leave for a while and quietly disappear into his world for a period of time. This allowed our minds to calmly figure out what position we were in his heart.

My face had been buried on his shoulder for a long time, and his clothes had become wet. It was hard to tell whether it was tears or sweat from my hands.

At nine o'clock, a doctor and nurse passed by and saw our posture and the wetness on Lu Xuan chest. Immediately, the following conversation occurred

The doctor asked," A patient died in the intensive care unit today?"

The nurse said," No."

The moment I heard this specially amplified voice, I knew that the person who came was ill-intentioned and glared at the two people who were passing by.

The doctor's eyes were also sharp! She looked at the innocent young men and said softly," No one's going to cry, why are you crying? Are you going to preview in advance or are you pretending?"

Damn! Was this doctor's endocrine disorder or was he out of love? !

I was about to say something when I thought about it. Lu Xuan hand curled up and pressed my head back onto his shoulder. Half of my face was toward his neck and could not move.

"Don't move. I do n' t care if my head hurts again."

Lu Xuan said that, the doctor curled his lips and left. The nurse bowed apologetically to us and hurried to chase after the doctor.

Grandma woke up the next day until noon. I sat beside the bed holding her hand while holding her head in a daze. With a slight movement of her finger, I woke up. I saw her staring at me weakly, even with a faint smile on her lips.

"Grandma, you're awake!" I was so surprised that I suddenly thought of something and became nervous again." Grandma, how are you?" Was there any discomfort? "Do you want me to call the doctor over?"

Grandma shook her head and answered all of my questions. She pulled my hand down and gestured for me to sit down. I saw that she really wasn't uncomfortable and obediently sat back.

"Grandma, I'm sorry, I' m late..."

As soon as I sat down and held Grandma's hand, I could n' t help but feel scared. I was afraid that Grandma wouldn't wake up again. I could n' t sleep this night because I was afraid that a group of doctors would suddenly rush into Grandma's room. When I came out, I sighed and tried my best.

"Silly child, do you remember how Grandma taught you before?"

I really hated tears so much that I couldn't hold them back no matter what. I could only sob and nod my head.

Grandma had once said to me that life and death weren't scary. What was scary was that it came too suddenly and did n' t even have the chance to say good-bye. Therefore, when parting came, don't cry. Take the opportunity to smile and say goodbye. A good ending can begin.

The first time I heard this sentence was when I was five years old. At that time, I didn't know what life and death were, and I did n' t know what to start and end. I only knew that everything Grandma said was right. Even a philosophy that I couldn't understand felt like a poem.

When I was ten years old, I had no choice but to leave Grandma. At that time, I finally experienced the bitterness of parting. My mother held my hand and walked out of the house, feeling regretful. I shook off my mother's hand and ran to Grandma again. At that time, Grandma had used this sentence to persuade me to be stubborn. I suddenly understood the meaning of that sentence, but it was very awkward. It was because I couldn't smile and say goodbye to Grandma. I pouted and opened my eyes so wide that tears did n' t fall down. The goodbye that I said still carried a clear crying tone.

That time, it was a parting of life. Was this a parting of life? That was why Grandma said this sentence again, but I didn't want to try it at all. I would rather never understand that sentence. I would rather have Grandma never said that to me. If I could keep Grandma by my side like this... 1

So, after nodding, I shook my head as hard as I could. I didn't deliberately control my tears. No matter how long it flowed, Grandma naturally did n' t have the strength to soothe me. She struggled to hold my hand.

"What's going on?" A stern shout came from behind me. I looked over with tears in my eyes. Lu Xuan stood at the door with a man in a white coat. It was obvious that the sound did not come from the Lu Xuan. It could only be a doctor.

"I don't know how to call a doctor even if the patient wakes up. Why are you crying here?" How sad! "That's a little early!"

I was a little confused by this training. I stood up in a panic and took a few steps back. Only then did I see the doctor's appearance clearly. Was n' t this the doctor who had the disorder of endocrine?

"What are you looking at?! "I didn't scold you the wrong way. Little girl, you do n' t have any skills at all. You've always known how to bicker all day. You do n' t know how to be pretentious!"

I saw that he was still on the line, so I wanted to talk to him when I wiped off my tears. However, when I saw that he had already examined Grandma's body, he was still gentle and meticulous, and he suppressed his anger.

Who would have thought that I'd run into something evil recently? With so many tears in my eyes, I also hate it!

The doctor was quite human. After the examination, he didn't speak about his illness in front of Grandma and called Lu Xuan and me out.

"Doctor, how's my grandma?"

He glanced at me coldly and spoke a lot of professional terms to Lu Xuan. He completely ignored me. I was anxious and didn't want to think about the terms he mentioned. I just wanted to know Grandma's condition in the simplest way.

Lu Xuan, on the other hand, looked very familiar. As I listened, I nodded. I was confused. Don't tell me that Lu Xuan is so versatile that he can digest medical terms so quickly? !

After the doctor finished his sentence, he gave a few simple instructions. I understood these two words. I wanted the patient to keep his body and mind happy. He didn't want to cry and cry in people's ears.

When I listened carefully, why did he say so much about me? As expected, when I turned around, I saw him giving me a vicious glance before turning around and leaving.

This time, I was completely enraged and stepped forward to block his path.

"It's fine if you have any objections to me, but you have to tell me about Grandma. This is your duty and my right."

"Looks like you still have some self-awareness. You know that I have a problem with you and want to know about your grandma's situation. Here," he pointed at the Lu Xuan beside him with his chin.

"I've already told your boyfriend, so let him tell you!"

My teeth were itching with hatred. I couldn't wait to remove the doctor's bones to relieve my anger. The only thing I could do was lose my temper.

"Do you have any medical ethics? You didn't tell me when you called me out. You' re crazy!"

After listening to my random venting, the doctor paused and took two steps back." There's no point in calling you out. It's just that I don't want you to quarrel with your grandma. That's medical ethics."

After he finished speaking, he proudly blinked his eyes and walked back.

I was so angry that I almost vomited blood, but I couldn't do anything to him. After kicking this air for a long time, I looked like a lunatic...

I turned around angrily. When I saw that Lu Xuan had nothing to do with it, I was immersed in my own thoughts. I restrained myself and took two steps towards him.

"Lu Xuan, don't lie to me. Tell me about Grandma's completely."

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