51: Filled with grief and indignation

Filled with grief and indignation

I was a trapped beast trapped by painful memories. I couldn't break through, so I could only paint the ground as a prison and add a layer of shackles to my body. When Lu Xuan broke through the door, I squatted in my arms and cried in pain. I was miserable and pitiful.

There was no light in the room. On such a gloomy day, the room was so dark that he couldn't see his fingers. Only when he opened the door did some light enter. I curled up in a corner and shivered. I did n' t even have the time to admire the tall figure that he was looking up against the light.

He quickly walked up to me and stood there for a few seconds before squatting down.

"Xiao Jiu..."

My head, which was buried deep in my legs, was raised when I heard these two words. Our shining eyes met in the darkness.

"What did you call me?" I cried and my throat became hoarse.

"Xiao Jiu, I'll call you Xiao Jiu." His low and magnetic voice trembled in the empty surroundings, as if it was spreading from here to here.

Because of those two words, my numbness caused me to feel a little breath of life. So, I reached out to grab something and with a raise of my hand, it fell into a warm palm.

"Lu Xuan?" I softly called his name, as if I was confirming it.

"Yes, I'm here." As soon as he finished speaking, I threw myself into his arms. He was caught off guard and fell backwards, but he still wanted to protect me.

When he stabilized his body, he could only sit on the ground. As for me, I was kneeling and holding his waist. My face was pressed against his chest. Both of their movements were extremely awkward and tiring, but I just didn't want to let go. I was morbid and stubborn and wanted to maintain this state.

"I thought that no one would ever call me that way again... Can you always call me that way, just like Grandma, always calling me Xiao Jiu?"

He didn't seem to have thought that the reason why I was acting so weird was because of such a request. He could n' t help but laugh. His voice was originally pleasant to hear, but this was like a ripple on the calm surface of the water. It was charming and captivating.

In order to see his expression clearly, I reluctantly released my hand and leaned closer to his face.

"What are you laughing at?"

He restrained his smile and looked at me intently." I'm laughing at you. How big of a matter do you think is worth your tears?"

I pouted and didn't say a word. He probably thought that I was crying because of this name, but he did n' t know how relieved this name was.

"Can you?" "Don't call me Lu Yan again. Just call me Xiao Jiu." I met his calm gaze with a confident gaze. I was so angry that I couldn't let go of this question.

The corner of his mouth curved into an arc as he flicked his finger on my head." What's there to say? I originally had this intention, but I was afraid that you would n' t want it."

I was like a child who had received the candy. I smiled foolishly and wanted to move away so that he could stand up. Who would have thought that he would suddenly grab my head. I could feel a wet feeling on my lips without seeing anything.

His lips were pressed against mine, and my mind froze for a moment, forgetting to react. His dexterous tongue stretched out and easily pried open my lips and teeth. My body was cold after the rain, but it started to heat up. My hands and feet could not help but cling to his body. The lingering motion was slowly pulling away my rationality, but when I heard the footsteps outside, I instantly woke up.

Lu Xuan calmly separated, pressed against my forehead and took a few breaths before pressing me into his arms.

"Xiao Jiu, did I always call you that? Aren't you going to leave me?"

His head was buried in my neck. His voice was almost non-existent and I couldn't hear it clearly. However, I felt an unconcealable sense of unease and sadness in his embrace. I found out for some reason that I was sitting on his body now. My posture was a little indescribable.

"Well... let me get up first. My legs are numb..."

Seeing that Aunt Yuan was about to approach, I found a reasonable excuse to push him away, but because I was too close to the wall, I suddenly stood up and knocked my head against the wall.

I hugged my head and jumped twice. Lu Xuan big hand rolled over to help me rub my head. Seeing my nervous expression staring at the door, he laughed with a low voice.

"Don't worry, Auntie Yuan wo n' t come in."

Sure enough, Aunt Yuan's movements outside came to a stop very close to the door. Not long after, she heard her call through a door

"Yan Yan, I've prepared the food for you all. Come out and have it ready soon!"

I answered at the top of my voice, and it didn't take long for there to be any movement outside.

I let out a sigh of relief when I saw Lu Xuan smile on my face. I immediately felt suspicious. Why did I feel guilty like I had done something wrong, and the person who really should have felt guilty felt so content? !

"How did you know she wouldn't come in?"

He raised his eyelids and smiled." Guess."

I pouted and expressed my dissatisfaction. After getting along with Lu Xuan for a long time, he would know that he was quite fond of smiling, even though they were all shallow smiles. When he saw his smile, he remembered that my first impression of him was a demon that could cause people to freeze.

Now, I knew how incongruous that analogy was. He clearly had the power to melt the ice. He only disguised himself with an ice-cold appearance and didn't hide anything from the person he wanted to be warm.

That was why he treated me like that when he was 10. He didn't treat me so coldly, just because I was n' t the person he wanted to be warm.

I've been in my thoughts for too long. Lu Xuan gave me a sugar-fried chestnut to recover my senses. I stared blankly at his eyes and blinked twice.

Lu Xuan saw that I was openly absent-minded and didn't even know it, so I helplessly pinched the space between my brows." Hurry up and take a bath. If you wear your wet clothes for too long, you' ll get sick."

I finally remembered that I came in to take a bath and change my clothes. After that, I Lu Xuan ran in and then...

When he remembered that this was the end, he had to get down to business...

I was about to walk into the bathroom. After walking two steps, I felt that something was wrong and returned. I tilted my head and grabbed a handful of Lu Xuan clothes. They were so wet that I could squeeze out water. The old house was so shady that I had to cover my bed in the summer night, but why did I feel... hot just now?

She mechanically raised her head to face his shiny eyes and let go of her hand. She couldn't think anymore.

"Hurry up and wash it. It's soaked..."

He tried to cover up his words and quickly fled to the bathroom. He didn't dare to look at him anymore. That pair of eyes that could be said to contain feelings, right? I did n' t comprehend it wrong!

Aunt Yuan's culinary skills successfully hooked up my cravings. These few days, I' ve exhausted too much energy. It's rare for me to have a good appetite. Aunt Yuan saw that I ate with all my might and was happy to see it. As she put some food into my bowl, she did n' t forget to invite Lu Xuan to eat.

The way I ate and the expression on my face froze. I didn't dare to think too much about the scene of the last Chinese New Year. I lowered my head and continued to wolf down the food, but in the end, I lost my taste. The more I ate, the more tasteless I became.

"What's wrong? "You were so happy just now. Are you going to put down the dishes?"

I looked at Aunty Yuan apologetically. I didn't say anything but the expression on my face betrayed me. Aunty Yuan could be considered transparent and sighed.

"You child, you've grown up so heartless. How come you ca n' t make things difficult for your grandma?"

I pursed my lips and lowered my head. I didn't feel like crying anymore, but my heart became more and more heavy. In the past, I did n' t have a heart or lungs. I only thought about everything for myself. It was because of this that I regretted it after Grandma left. I didn't even have the time to think about it for her... Did n' t I say this? I wanted to raise my son but didn't treat him. After experiencing it, I realized that this sentence contained a weight that could devour one's heart and bones.

"Yan Yan, in the end, there will be such a day in this old age. You have to learn to look ahead. If your grandmother didn't want anything from you, she wanted you to be safe and sound. If something happened because of her, she would really let her down! "Do you think so?"

I wanted to stop my lower lip and nod. I raised my head and forced a smile." I know, Auntie Yuan. I'm fine. I wo n' t let Grandma down."

She comforted me by patting my head." Silly girl, I told you to think a little, not to show off."

"Alright, I'm just here to pack up today. It's getting late, so I should go back."

Since Grandma wasn't around, Auntie Yuan would n' t stay here any longer. This old residence was probably empty.

Both Lu Xuan and I stood up to send Aunt Yuan off. She turned to Lu Xuan and said in a low voice," Please advise her properly. You better take care of her yourself." "I'm leaving. You do n' t have to send me off."

She didn't want us to send her away, so we watched her leave until her figure disappeared on the long road.

The rain was still falling, creating a layer of water curtain for the entire world. It was as if I could see Grandma's figure. She stood in the middle of the long path, smiling as she waved at me, and then gradually walked away...

I ran for two steps to chase after her, but before I stepped into the rain, my consciousness became clear. Grandma had already left. She was saying goodbye to me. As she said, parting with a smile was the best way.

Before I knew it, I opened my lips and waved my hand like Grandma. After seeing Grandma, I would be better and better, and I would live my most brilliant life. Goodbye, Grandma, I'll give you happiness and love you the most... 0

After Aunt Yuan left, only Lu Xuan and I remained in the large old mansion. The signal was as bad as ever. I lay on Lu Xuan leg and closed my eyes to rest, but my brain was running at high speed.

The sky had just darkened, and the light in the old house was not good. It was already dark. It was probably because there was no need to turn on the lights, so neither of us wanted to move.

The rain fell off and on for half a day, but now it really stopped. The raindrops on the eaves dropped down, making a sound.

It was the sound that made my mind suddenly shine. I propped up my body and looked at Lu Xuan with a grin. He noticed that my legs had turned slightly to look at me, but because the light was too dark, I could not see the sly smile on my face.

"I've come up with an idea to stop us from being so bored."

He hadn't even had time to ask a question when he asked me to drag me to the back yard. My intention was obvious. It was the wine in the wine cellar behind him. Grandma had actually left me a lot of things. They were all things that could n' t help but hurt. Only the wine was the most popular.

In the past, he had been secretly drinking on Grandma's back. Today, he wanted to indulge himself, so he did n' t have to worry about how to carry the wine. He just sat in the wine cellar and drank as much as possible.

Lu Xuan wasn't a person who was addicted to alcohol, but he seemed to have an unfathomable amount of alcohol. I had never seen him get drunk before, so I secretly set my goal for tonight. It was to get him drunk before I could get drunk.

After drinking, she really wanted to hear him speak. I knew that it was also a scar in his heart, so I never dared to uncover it without authorization. I had been waiting for the day when he would truly be honest with me. But if this time was too long, I was afraid that I would not be able to hold back until I left his world.

I coaxed him to drink for various reasons. In order to not expose his purpose, I would drink as much as he wanted. Sometimes, he even drank a cup and I drank two cups. People who had feelings of depression in their hearts were delusional in trying to use alcohol to trick others. It turned out that it wasn't because he had an unfathomable amount of alcohol. It was because he was too smart and extraordinary, and I was too irrational.

After a few rounds of alcohol, I was already drunk and fell on Lu Xuan shoulder to take a nap. Lu Xuan also drank a lot and was slightly drunk under my efforts. However, his wine was excellent and he quietly lowered his head to recuperate.

As my consciousness blurred, I remembered that I still had something important to do. I was pushed back to my senses by the ghosts and gods in the darkness, and my body trembled as I slid down Lu Xuan shoulder.

I was still thinking about how to speak, but when I turned around and realized that Lu Xuan wasn't woken up by me, I could n' t help but be speechless. This person was drunk by me, but he was drunk and fell asleep.

After sitting for a while, I realized that it was cold. The temperature of the deep mountains and forests was really strange.

The surroundings were silent. The candles that were brought with me had been blown out at some point. I turned on my phone and walked towards Lu Xuan. I felt that it wasn't enough, so I hugged his arm.

His eyes were tightly closed. When he got closer, he heard his deep and shallow breathing. He didn't know what kind of dream he was having. His brows were furrowed deeply and he was n' t very calm. I reached out a finger to iron his eyebrows, but I felt that my hand was too cold that might make him feel uncomfortable. I slowly retracted my hand and covered it.

When I felt that the temperature in my hand was right, I caressed his forehead without any pressure. I gently pressed it, but it didn't make his brows relax. I was a little annoyed, and my gaze fell on his thick eyelashes. I saw that there was a slight movement, and the next second, he opened his eyes.

I thought he was awake. Just as I was about to retract my hand and get caught by him, I calmly looked at him. Those deep, bottomless eyes were also looking at me, but they were not as clear as they were in the past. It was like a layer of fog that could not be lingering.

"Lu He..."

It was only then that I realized that he was really drunk. I muttered something and leaned closer to hear the words. My heart was half beat slower and my mind was in chaos. This was the first time I read these words from his mouth. It was so pleasant to listen to, but it made me feel lost.

I forcefully opened his hand, but he unexpectedly increased his strength. No matter what, I didn't want to hear his name Lu He like this. He never let himself get drunk, but he kept shouting Lu He after getting drunk. It was because it was very important, because he could n' t forget or let go...

Since that was the case, why was he anxious to be with me? Do you really think of me as a substitute, or do you think of me as a tool for forgetting Lu He transferring pain?

No matter what, it was something I could not accept...

pqdm.com