360: The Prospect of Marriage for the Artist

The Prospect of Marriage for the Artist

As they shared a few more drinks, Zixu brought up the conversation Yujia had with his father earlier in the villa. 

"I would be lying if I said I saw that coming," he said.

"Don't you think it's the perfect excuse?" Yujia leaned her head back, unable to hold back a grin. "I wanted to tell you earlier, but I think it slipped away from my memory. I got the idea from the Huangshan trip, though."

"How so?" 

"There were some disciples from Guozijian being a little bit on the disrespectful side," Yujia explained, wrinkling her nose when she remembered what had happened. "I thought it would turn out to be a big hassle, except the moment I brought out my master's name, they didn't dare say much. That was how I knew I had the biggest card." 

At this, Zixu remarked, "It seems like the same happened with my father, then. He was left quite speechless by you."

"I learned it all from you, you know. That infallible logic and delivery of said logic."

"Did you?" The corners of his lips turned up.

She gave an affirming nod. "Absolutely." 

"Earlier," Zixu brought up, "You said disciples from Guozijian didn't know etiquette? Which ones? Do you know their names?"

Yujia sipped at the wine, her eyes widening. "Ah, if I tell you their names, what are you going to do? I'm a little bit worried."

"For me?" 

"No, for their safety."

Hearing her say that, a laugh escaped from Zixu. He shook his head, gesturing at himself. "I am but a merchant's son. What can I possibly do?"

"You are the son of one of the most prominent merchants in the empire, aren't you?"

"Merchants are considered the lowest class, though."

Yujia laced her fingers together. "Even despite that, in the end, isn't it money that runs the world? Don't be humble; I know you must have some connections out there."

Zixu tilted his head, expression plainly amused. "You really have such high expectations of me. Let me make it clear: I'm not going to hire an assassin to murder their families. Does that calm your soul?"

"That was exactly what I thought you were going to do!" Yujia clapped her hands.

"Pft." He picked up the jar of wine. "Is it a crime to be curious now?"

"Possibly. But if it's really curiosity that's fueling your question, fine, I'll tell you their names," Yujia relented. "There's Han Shiche— I think his father is a general of some sort? And the others…" She tapped her chin, trying to remember their names but finding both their names and faces coming up as blurry in her memories. "I don't think I recall."

"No worries. No good comes from remembering the names of irrelevant pests like that anyway," Zixu replied. "Han Shiche, though…"

"Do you know him?" Yujia blinked.

Zixu answered, "His name sounds familiar, but I don't believe I know him personally. His family is quite prominent; however, like you said before, your master is greater at backing you up."

"And now I can proudly claim I am the granddaughter of my master," Yujia said with a hum. 

Actually, now that she thought about it, besides her master, she hadn't told this plan to anyone else. Not even Ye Yunhe caught wind of it. So, to be able to openly say it to people— Zixu included— had a sense of exhilaration that was truly relieving. It was similar to the weight of a secret being lifted off her shoulders. 

Of course, that was excluding the thrill Yujia felt at being able to be with Zixu in a legitimate fashion, instead of being terrified of his father and sneaking around at all times. That, Yujia figured, was even more exciting.

"Now that Father knows about us, I think he'll be advocating for marriage soon," Zixu began after a sip of wine.

"Marriage?" Yujia narrowed her eyes. "I thought he would still need some time to adjust to this news."

Zixu swirled the wine in his cup. "Well, yes. But I know my father well. He has wanted me to get married for so long; it's rare to find someone at my age still unmarried. And though he'll want me to be married to someone of good stature— which you now qualify under— he also wants me to be happy."

Yujia thought back to the past Zixu told her about, especially the things he revealed about his relationship with his father and the kind of person his father was. She admitted she held some bias against the head of the Yu Family, but despite that bias, she could still recognize his love for his son. He always wanted the best for Zixu, even if it meant not exactly what Zixu wanted. That was his way of showing his love.

"You didn't agree with the happiness part though, did you?" Yujia asked.

"Obviously." Zixu crinkled his eyes. "You know how cynical I was back then. I thought I would just be married to someone I didn't care for, for the purpose of alliances and connections." 

"I've actually been meaning to ask, what do you think about your past fiancée, my sister, Yang Xiaoyi?" Yujia leaned back.

"I had no feelings," he answered plainly. "She seemed like a convenient fiancée, but nothing more than that."

Yujia nudged him with her elbow. "I feel like I should be offended for my sister." 

Zixu laughed again, reaching forward and taking her hand. "You're trying to put me on the spot, aren't you?"

"No no," Yujia replied with a laugh as well, "I do get what you mean." 

Zixu seemed content with that. Then, he continued, "But as I was saying, I speculate my father will begin bringing engagements up soon. Before he does, I wanted to let you know, so it doesn't come off as too much of a surprise. And I wanted to ask you about it too. What do you think?"

Yujia had been pouring herself another cup at that time, but when she heard this question, she lowered the one hand she was using to pour the wine.

Engagement. Marriage.

Hearing things like this, she should've been happy, shouldn't she? Who wouldn't be? Zixu was the love of her life. She couldn't think of anyone else she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She wanted it too; she had daydreamed scenarios of them being married.

But dreams were always different from reality, she realized. 

When it came to this moment, a moment where she actually was confronted with the idea of getting married, it suddenly seemed all so distant.

She thought about how long she knew Zixu for. She thought about how long they had been in a relationship. Around half a year, wasn't it? And she hadn't even been transmigrated for a full year yet.

Wasn't it too fast? 

At this thought, she found herself hating these doubts rising up within her. Too fast? If she was truly in love with him, she shouldn't have thoughts like these, shouldn't she? 

Yujia knew she loved him. She knew it with all her heart.

And she absolutely hated how much her insecurities were making her doubt this truth right now.

Zixu noticed her delay in giving an answer. Gently squeezing her hand, he said in a lowered voice, "What's wrong?" 

Yujia looked up. "I'm sorry." The words came out a bit hoarse. She cleared her throat and paused, collecting her words. "Before I say anything, I just want you to know I love you. I really, truly do. Except…" Her voice was wavering, she noticed. She could barely look Zixu in the eyes. "Marriage means a lot to me. I think I want it as much as you do. I just— I want to give us some more time before that. I realize how bad this might sound, I'm incredibly sorry—"

"No." Zixu cut in, eyebrows furrowed. "Don't apologize." 

"You're not upset?" Yujia froze, staring at him with wide eyes.

She thought he would be. She thought, perhaps, she was in the wrong. She thought that her beliefs from the modern world, where two lovers didn't rush into marriage right away, was incorrect. She thought that she should've conformed to this era. 

So, to hear Zixu didn't show any signs of agitation?

"Why would I be upset about that?" Zixu squeezed her hand again. "I asked you about this because I wanted to know your thoughts. I value what you think about this. Marriage is a big deal, and I'm glad you expressed these concerns to me." He tilted his head, thinking for a brief moment before adding on, "I know what kind of person you are, Yu'er. So I'm not worried. I'd be more worried if I was forcing you into something you didn't want to be a part of."

"I do want to be married someday," Yujia clarified. "With you."

"We just need some more time, right?" 

"Yes." 

Zixu pressed his lips together. "Then, what do you think about an engagement?"

Yujia recalled the various engagements she heard going on around the capital. "They usually turn into marriages within a month or so, don't they?"0

"They do, but there are some cases where they last longer. We can be one of those cases. It would give us more of an excuse to be together in public, don't you think?" 

"If that's the case…" Yujia gave a slight smile. "Sure. That sounds fine to me."

Zixu smiled back. "I'm glad it does."

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