455: A Little Dose of Crazy

A Little Dose of Crazy

I woke up in the middle of the night, a scream threatening to tear me apart from the inside out.

I could feel the sweat dripping down my face, my heart pounding as the last bit of a nightmare drifted off. It might be gone, but the aftereffects will last for the next few hours.

Scared to fall back asleep just in case it managed to find me again, I disappeared into my space, needing time to put myself back together. 

It was hard exposing yourself by talking about things you knew were rotting wounds. Most people, especially those who had never experienced those nightmares, think the best way to heal was to talk about it.

And in some ways, they are right. I am no longer scared about my guys' reaction to what happened to me in a past life. But by talking about what happened, I opened the door to the nightmares. Which brought me here, making chocolate cake in the middle of the night in my space so I don't disturb anyone else.

"You left me in a black hole of rage and confusion. Is the type of medicine you practice, Dr. Quinzel?" came a voice from my dining room table. "What do you think? Can I be the next Clown Prince?" asked Crazy.

I turned to look at her and was surprised to see her in a purple and green checkered dress with a white apron. Her hair was dyed purple and black, matching her outfit.

"I didn't know you guys could change your outfits," I said, completely ignoring her question. "Violence always seems to be in the same red dress."

"That is because Violence is boring, and has a giant stick up her ass. Me, on the other hand, am a free spirit. If I want to change, I change," she said, and snapping her fingers, she was back to her blue hypnotic Alice dress.

"That one is my favorite," I said, turning back around to my stand mixer. Shredding some zucchini, since that squash was coming out of my ears, I added it to the batter before pouring everything into the prepared cake pans.

"Ew, did you really add veggies to your cake?" demanded Crazy, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"It's really not that bad. Besides, I have over a hundred zucchini that need to be eaten and more growing every day," I answered with a shrug of my shoulders. I really needed to find some way to use it all. I refused to throw out anything I grew.

"And you can't just feed them to the chickens or the pigs? I really don't think something that green is fit for human consumption.  At least you drowned it in chocolate first, I guess."

I turned to look at Crazy over my shoulder as I scrapped the last of the batter into the second cake pan. "You know I am not arguing that. Anything tastes better when it is bathed in chocolate. Except carrot cake. That one is pretty fantastic as it is."

I put the pans in the oven and set the timer. "But why do I think you popped in for another reason than to criticize my baking?" I asked with a sigh as I took off my apron and went to go sit down across from her.

"I don't know why… I mean, putting veggies in cake should be a capital offense as far as I am concerned," huffed Crazy.

I looked at her, not saying a word. 

"Fine! Anything but silence! Please! Anything but silence!!!" she screamed and started to melt into a puddle of black, blue, and white goo all over my clean floors.

Leaning over the side of the table, I watched as an eye formed in the goo. Blinking once, it rolled around to look at me. 

"Nice try," I said with a smile. "But you are going to have to clean yourself up. Lord only knows where you've been recently."

"I've been in the ninth circle of Hell," said Crazy as she pulled herself off the floor and sat back down in her chair. "It's a nice place. Warm and sunny all year round, it makes a fantastic vacation destination…well, if you ignore the screams, that is. I've even met some of our ex's there. Nice guys," she continued, her words picking up speed until she was talking a mile a minute.

"Crazy," I warned her, leaning back in my chair.

"Fine," she huffed. "I figured that now was not a good time to be alone, and if you didn't want the guys around, I would keep you company."

"Thank you," I said, realizing for the first time that the residue of my nightmare was no longer clinging to my brain ever since she appeared.

"Does this make me your new favorite personality?" 

"Sure," I answered with a smile. I was starting to think that everyone needed a little crazy in their lives in order to keep them sane. 

"Ha! I'm going to tell her you said that!" laughed Crazy. "How long until the cake is ready to eat?"

"I thought you didn't want any… you know, with the zucchini in it," I answered, looking at her confused. 

"What?!? You put zucchini in a chocolate cake!? How could you do something like that?!?" she demanded, a massive smile on her face. "But seriously, when will it be ready?" 

"Half an hour," I replied, looking at the timer on the microwave. "And then another hour to cool down and frost."

"You know, if you started this an hour and a half ago, you'd be done by now, and I would be eating cake. Sometimes you are really inconsiderate of others… you know that, right?!" Grumbling under her breath for a few minutes, I just stared at my personality from where I was stilling.  0

For some reason, I didn't think that she was as Crazy as everyone might think. I think that maybe, just maybe, she was wearing a mask so that she would let other people see what she wanted them to see while keeping her real self safe and secure.

"You can't be crazy all the time," she said suddenly, returning my stare. "But you can give yourself a break when the world comes crashing down on you."

"Okay, Crazy," I nodded, a big smile on my face. "You are right."

"Hey, just because I'm crazy doesn't make me wrong. Call me in an hour and a half. I want cake." 

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