530: A GLOOMY DAY

A GLOOMY DAY

It was Cane's fault for not making things clear for her. Yes, they could have a safe sex now Cane could control himself better and Iris could keep up with him, but they had never really talked about a baby. 

Cane assumed, Iris knew already about the purpose of the concoction from Grace, but right now, he questioned it. 

However, on the other hand, it was not Iris not realized the ultimate goal for all the tonic she and Cane must drink regularly, but it simply didn't cross her mind last night when she drank the alcohol. 

She didn't think about it at all. The only thing in her mind was; how to bond with the other five warriors and knew more about the Howling Wolf pack. Deep down, she still had not yet completely given up. 

If she couldn't be closer with the other pack member, at the very least, she wanted to be welcomed by her own personal warriors, especially after she knew what they were thinking about her when they talked behind her back, assuming she couldn't hear them. 

"I am truly sorry, Cane. It didn't cross my mind. I swear!" Iris said frantically. She felt so bad. 

"Iris, calm down. I am not angry with you." Cane kissed her cheeks and hugged her to show his mate that he was not angry, but he couldn't hide his disappointment because of how reckless she was. 

Maybe it didn't cross her mind because she had never thought about it at all in the first place. 

That was the first thought that came to Cane's mind when Iris said that. It was so suck for Cane to have question where Iris put her heart to and assuming the wrong thing. 

"I can understand if you want to wait, just tell me how long it will be…" Cane said gently, as he patted her back. "We can stop drinking Grace concoction until you are ready."

Not to mention the concoction made of the water magic stone and it would be a waste of resources if they kept drinking it when Iris was not on board in this matter. More so, water magic stone was not something that you could find every day. 

Hearing that, Iris shook her head vigorously. "No, I want it. I really want it," she said between her sobs. "I am sorry, I am being reckless, I am so stupid…"

"No." Cane released her body and looked at her sternly. "Don't say anything like that." He was serious with his words and this made Iris stopped apologizing. 

"I didn't mean it in that way, Cane… I want it. Please, believe me…" There, Iris felt so dreadful if Cane didn't believe her, she was so afraid that he would call her a liar. It would break her if she heard that, as unpleasant memories came flooding in her mind whenever she was called as a liar.

However, Cane wouldn't say something like that. He didn't know the exact reason, but Iris always felt unease whenever she thought, someone didn't believe her words, she would have a strong reaction about that. 

"Okay, it's okay. You are only being reckless." Cane wiped her tears. "Let's talk about this again when you are calm enough, okay?"

In the past, Cane would drop the matter and leave it at that, as soon as he learned Iris regretted what she had done and she wanted the same thing with him. 

But, over time, he learned, there was a few things they needed to talk into a certain depth, something they must not only touch on the surface level. 

And this matter was one of those things. 

Iris used to speak out what was in her mind and heart, what she wanted from him and this relationship. 

It was also Iris as well, who opened up about her feeling the first time and what she expected from whatever was going on between the two of them. It made things easier to navigate, which direction they wanted it to be. 

Meanwhile, Cane rarely talked about his, but he soon learned that Iris couldn't magically read his mind, if he didn't tell her exactly what he wanted and what he wished for, how he could hope for her to understand?

He had come across so many situations, where he didn't explain himself better and it hurt her even more. He paid close attention to that fact and he tried to better himself in communicating his feeling and what he thought, despite it was not his nature to do so and what he had gone through had hardened his heart. 

But, Iris was an exception. She would always be an exception…

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"Here you are," Aliana grumbled, once she found Ethan. He was sitting near the river, close the area, where the fallen warriors had been buried. 

Ever since the burial, Ethan had been spending his free time here. He became very quiet and aloof to his surroundings. 

Not many people knew about this, but behind his cheerful self and how easy going he was, the gamma had this contradiction side. 

No matter how normal everyone in the pack acted, their trauma would always linger like the air they breathed and the dead of those young warriors cut deeply in Ethan's heart. It was him, who asked them to come with him. 

"Waiting for a mermaid to appear from the river?" Aliana asked, as she sat down next to him, while Ethan glanced at her, but his expression didn't change at all. 

He allowed himself to be real with Aliana, if this was someone else, he would have started to throw a random joke to them.  1

"I am waiting for those young warrior spirits to come and curse at me," Ethan replied, it sounded sarcastic, but that was the truth. That was what he thought at this moment. 

"For what? Because you got them killed?" Aliana asked, but Ethan didn't answer that, which meant what she said highly likely to be true. "In that case, I should be cursed as well. We split them, remember? I led half of them to their death."

Ethan didn't answer that. His regret ran so deep and every time he saw Joel struggled and how life left his eyes on the day the realization finally dawned on him that he couldn't use his legs anymore, it killed him bit by bit. 

"I was the one, who found them and gathered them to help."

"On my request," Ethan reminded her, that it was his suggestion to gather those young warriors. 

Aliana opened her mouth and wanted to retort, but she knew, there would be no end for this if they tried to compete who was most at fault. 

"Ethan…" Aliana started. "We are so familiar with death, albeit we will never get used to it, but their death is not your fault. You put the blame on the wrong person and waste your energy on it. I am sure, deep down, they were well aware there was a high chance they wouldn't make it alive, but they still came with us to accomplish their mission."

"But then what? We actually didn't help with anything," Ethan said bitterly, from what he learned, they didn't help anything, there was nothing significant that they accomplished, but then there were so many young souls met their demised. 

"They fought the enemies, we fought the enemies. If we didn't kill the traitor from the Blue Moon pack, there was a high possibility they would come after the luna. What do you think will happen if they found the luna with only four warriors by her side? If we didn't come to help, that dark witch would have summoned them to search the luna, everything could happen. 

And if we didn't come, do you think those young warriors wouldn't have involved themselves in the real battle that happened in the pack? They wanted to protect their pack and the people they loved, could you guarantee none of them wouldn't die under different command?"

Aliana saw Ethan lowered his head, he hugged his legs and rested his chin on his knees, but he didn't say anything, despite that, she knew he was listening. 

"Don't blame yourself for something you can't control, you blame the wrong person, Ethan. If you want to hate, hate those people, who has instigated the attack, because in the end of the day, we only try to survive and protect people we love with everything we can."

Ethan hunched his back and rested his forehead on his knees, but Aliana could hear his soft whimper, as he cried. 

He had been acting tough and helping them to go through their grief upon losing their loved one, until people didn't notice that he was grieving as well for losing those young warriors that he thought as his brothers. 

It was him, who had taught them how to survive and it was also him, who had led them to their demise. 

They were still grieving… all of them…

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Iris ate her meal quietly, but she felt the pang in her heart when she saw Cane didn't drink his tonic. He put it aside subtly. 

"Why don't you drink it?" Cane asked when he saw Iris didn't drink her tonic. He had asked for their lunch to be brought to their bedroom, so they would have time to talk about their issues. 

"You don't drink yours," Iris replied, she bit her lips and hold back the urge to cry again. 

"Iris, yours is to nurse your health. You are not the one, who had problem with fertility," Cane said gently. 

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