503: Body change

Body change

Days passed peacefully, adjusting to the life of another addition to the family. Heaven was discharged with her baby just a day after her delivery. From then on, she only focused on her baby and Sebastian.  2

Having a newborn in the family was equally rewarding and exhausting. Since Heaven and Dominic wanted to be hands-on parents, they insisted on taking care of their children on their own. They were still getting help from the workers in their home, especially from Miriam. But most of the time, it was Heaven and Dominic. 

It only took two nights for the two to realize sleep was something they couldn't freely do anymore. They had to wake up if the baby woke up to feed. It didn't matter what time it was. Thus, two days later, both Dominic and Heaven were a little haggard for two consecutive nights of almost sleepless nights.

On the third night, Miriam offered help so the couple could rest and have the energy to take care of their children. At this point, Heaven was already stashing breast milk, as she was blessed with plenty of it. 

Their lives centered around the baby — all of them, including the little Sebastian as he would go wherever the baby was. And before anyone could catch a breath, one month had already passed since the baby was born. 

Plenty of things happened in that one month. One of them was...

Heaven stood in front of the full-body mirror. She was wearing nothing but underwear. 

"My body..." she whispered with lips curved down, assessing her body and how it changed. "... it's so ugly."

A thin layer of tears coated her eyes, as she didn't feel as pretty and sexy as she felt before. There were stretch marks on her belly, inner thigh, and hips. The excess skin on her belly was also unpleasant to look at. 

"I should feel proud of these battle scars..." she whimpered while wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. For some reason, Heaven felt a little emotional for reasons she didn't know. 

She couldn't hide the dismay in her heart at the body in front of the mirror. When this body had Sebastian, the original Heaven didn't care much about her child. Therefore, she was still petite during and after pregnancy. But in the second pregnancy, Heaven only ate nutritious food to the point she was heavier than she had ever been in both lifetimes. 

At that time, she told herself she would have all that weight removed once she delivered the child. Moreover, Dominic often reassured her how beautiful she was. Therefore, it wasn't a big deal.

This time was different. 

Heaven didn't feel beautiful at all. If anything, she would look in the mirror and feel a little disgusted. Not that she ever regretted having her second child. Thus, on top of having these feelings, there was guilt growing in her heart for even having such emotions. 

'I'm sorry...'she whispered, still wiping her eyes with her arms, as her tears wouldn't stop streaming down her cheek. 

After minutes, the door of the walk-in closet slowly opened. There, by the door, was Dominic in a white robe, straight from the bathroom. Just as he stepped inside, he stopped as his eyes fell on his wife. Deep lines appeared between his brows, seeing that Heaven was standing motionless in front of the mirror, crying. 

Without a word, Dominic advanced to her quietly. He stood behind her, snaking his arms around her to embrace her. 

"Is there something wrong?" he asked worriedly. "Why are you crying?"

"*hic*" Her lips quivered, biting her lower lips as she felt even more emotional upon hearing his gentle voice. 

"Darling..."

"I'm..." Heaven hiccuped quietly as she lowered her arm, immediately seeing herself through the mirror. "I feel... I look disgusting."

"Huh?"

Tears blurred her vision, but she could still see her dark red stretch marks and excess skin. The bitterness and insecurity rising to her throat forced her to turn around to face her husband. 

"Dom, don't look." Heaven covered his eyes. "I will try my best to look pretty again after some time."

Dominic furrowed his brows deeply as he slowly peeled her hands from his eyes. He cocked his head to the side, lowering her eyes to her body. Upon seeing him scan her from up and down, Heaven tried to cover his eyes once again. But alas, this time, Dominic held her wrist to stop her. 

"Which..." he trailed off, lifting his eyes to meet her once again. "... part in there is ugly?"

"Everything!" Her face turned sour and furious. "Dom, you don't have to lie! I know my body changed, and it's undoubtedly unpleasant. I admit it myself, so I'd rather you be honest too!"

"?" Dominic tilted his head once again, confused. 

"They said women's body changes when they give birth and it's one of our sacrifices. But I don't plan on feeling like this!" she added in between her sobs. "I know this is a little wrong, considering the reason my body changed is that of our little Miracle. But... I can't help it."

Was it wrong to feel this way? To have such feelings of disgust toward her body? Others might tell her to feel proud and embrace this body change since the cause was a beautiful and precious blessing. That was why she felt a little torn because she might be proud, but at the same time, she disliked the feeling of not being confident in her own skin. 

Right now, she was growing hatred toward her body.

"Goodness." Dominic sighed as he slowly pulled her into his embrace. "And here I was, wondering if we can make love since it's been a month."

Today was the first time the two of them shared a bath together and, to be truthful, Dominic felt a little excited. He wouldn't deny his wife's body changed, but… it never crossed him that it looked unpleasant. If anything, her body change was proof that she endured all those pains and sacrifices to deliver the fruit of their love.

"In my eyes, you're the most beautiful." Dominic slowly drew his head back, cupping her face to wipe her tears with his thumb. "Even if you become just as fat as Fig or as petite as a stick, and even if your body morphed into something else, my heart will never change. However, at the same time, I want you to feel pretty on your own."

The corner of his mouth curled up reassuringly, looking at her with nothing but affection and admiration. "I love you, and I want you to remember that at all times. I will always support whatever you want to do to regain that confidence again."

Heaven was almost chewing her bottom lips, teary-eyed. "Really? I still look pretty in your eyes?"

"Mhm." He nodded, smiling. "If you were not crying when I came, we would've been doing something else."

His brows rose, wiggling a bit as he moved closer until his bulge touched her stomach. Feeling that hard mast underneath his robe, Heaven gazed down for a moment before looking up at him. 

"Can we do it now?" he asked, making her hum.

"I don't know, but we can try?" she hiccuped. "But close the lights. I don't like being seen at the moment."

His lips stretched from ear to ear until his teeth were fully displayed and a dimple appeared on his cheek. "Finally…!" Dominic wasted no time as he lowered his head, taking her lips to a passionate round of kiss. 

Dominic might not know what to say to her to make her feel better. However, his actions and the passionate hunger he had for his wife were enough to prove he wasn't lying. In his eyes, his wife was still just as beautiful and desirable as she was. That would never change, even if their hairs would turn gray and their skin wrinkled. 

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