40: Unable to let go

Unable to let go

"Hand it over," 

Her voice cut like the edge of a sharp sword. However, Andreas stared down at her as if he forgot how to speak.

"I said give it to me!"

"...If you insist," he placed the gun in the palm of her hand, "You only need to pull the trigger," he whispered in a tight voice.

When she blinked the tears away, she finally saw what he meant by a trigger. She turned around to face her falcon and aimed, unable to withstand his last moments, she closed her eyes.

Her eyes flashed up, a spark of animalistic anger in them when a gloved hand grabbed her arm with a restraining strength, she tried shaking it off to no avail.

Egon frowned down emptily at her. 

"Let me do it," he asked. His flat tone leaving no room for negotiations. 

"No,"

"Andreas," he called his cousin out, but the latter said nothing in response.

Adela took aim again when he released her hand, she was determined to end her falcon's misery this time. 

I must…I...

Her head hazed to the degree that she could not tell whether the present moment was a reality or a nightmare. She fought against it, panicking when she could no longer feel the weapon in her possession. 

Was it minutes? Hours? Or perhaps seconds? All Adela knew was that somehow, the disorientation she was feeling subsided. 

The weapon was in her hand again, but her bird no longer required it. An arrow pierced his head right between the eyes. 

"It's over,"

She thought she heard Egon say, but she was not quite sure whether those were his specific words or not. The ringing in her ears grew louder and flashes of bright colors splashed in her vision while her stomach heaved painfully. 

Everything went white after that.

*** 

Her surroundings were those of Lanark's forest, the shallow sunny parts where her herbs grew specifically. She was looking for something lost in the mist, the urgency of finding it was there, but the fog felt peaceful and reassuring, conveying that no harm shall befall that which was most precious to her.

What was I looking for again?

Waves of giggles that belonged to a child drew her way, for no child should be in the forest that can swallow people whole, not even its shallow parts.

She had to locate the girl and take her back to safety, but the path was getting darker, and soon, the thick trees would cover the sun of the western parts. 

To make things worse, Adela was being followed.

The louder the giggles became the quicker the steps she took, she could not afford to look back now, too afraid of finding those men who tried to harm her last time she was here. If only she could fly above this darkness that advanced on her and push herself forward into the light. 

If only Kannen could guide her way from the sky and lead her to the girl.

The presence gliding behind her ghosted closer, she might have to face that first to prevent it from reaching the little girl. Her bare hand that lusted for a sword curled into a fist; she would protect that child even if she were to die trying.

"Look up, he is still with you,"

The instructions that came from the presence tracking her were spoken in Andreas's kind voice. And when she looked up, she saw a magnificent falcon in the bright sky, it had the unusual size of Kannen, but the bird's feathers were neither short nor black, their texture seemed longer and thicker, and they were copperish beneath the rays of the sun. 

But how come the forest was so dark when there were no trees to hide the sky above her?

"I will find him again and bring him back to you," Andreas promised. 

She immediately dismissed the words she did not wish to hear — their dismissal was painful, but a lapse of focus was the last thing she could afford now when the girl's giggles were no longer heard, the urgency of finding her took over her.

"You should let him move on, it is the only way for you to reunite with him," Andreas insisted.

"No, I must find the girl first…Kannen will lead me to her,"

As she was trying to explain herself to Andreas, the faint glow that appeared not too far away from him alarmed her.

"...Do not worry about that one, she followed me here,"

What he said was not very concerning. Adela knew that this was all just a dream, and though it made her mission to locate the girl no less important, in the spur of the moment, she uttered something she would not have said if this was their reality. 

"Larissa likes you,"

He looked at the glow behind him.

"It was not supposed to be that way," regret laced his words.

"…If you ever hurt my sister, I will duel with you on her behalf," 

She looked up at him with all seriousness.

Having never cared for pretty boys herself, hearing how some other woman was following him around in strange places made her thankful for her peculiar tastes.

"I came to let you know that I can bring him back to you when the time comes, you must wake up now,"

The fear that ripped through her chest turned her strange dream into a nightmare when she heard Andreas's voice in her head while his lips zipped under her gaze. 

I must get her out of here first!

Adela kept her eyes on the sky after that.

She ran and ran after the falcon, stopping when the scene changed from around her drastically, or to be more accurate about the change, it happened within her. 

The forest's darkness was the same, but Adela's eyes could see everything perfectly clear somehow. Her arm went up as she whistled for the falcon to descend when she finally found what she was looking for. 

Not a girl, but a beautiful boy playing by the river. He had pitch-black hair, a striking contrast to how light and fair his skin was. When he looked up at Adela, his dark brown, almost black eyes startled her.

The boy who looked as comfortable as if the forest was his own home smiled brightly at Adela.

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