103: Desiring the impossible

Desiring the impossible

Right after he had stepped out for the first time, Egon returned to the tent, bringing mana stones to provide warmth and light. He assured her that there would be no more snakes nearby and requested that she get some rest.1

She drifted in and out of sleep, finding no solace in the restless slumber. Waking up to the unsettling reality seemed more appealing to her than this disorienting state. 

Who's there? The sense of an unseen presence lurking in the darkness intensified her restlessness, leaving her on edge and alert to any sign of movement or sound. That was until what had initially seemed like a solitary presence now morphed into a sense of multiple entities surrounding her.

Just when she was about to wake herself up once and for all, the air became thick with an enticing aroma, wafting into her nostrils—an aroma she recognized all too well. It was the unmistakable scent of delicious roasted meat, a dish that held a special place in Arkin's heart. 

Instantly, her eyes flew open, and her mind fixated on a single thought: Arkin! It was with a heavy heart that she realized what was amiss. She couldn't sense his presence anymore.

Interrupting her tumultuous thoughts was a soft-spoken voice from outside the tent, "You're not the only one trying to stop him," 

The voice belonged to someone she had encountered before, someone associated with Latora's duke. Who was he?... She couldn't associate a face with the voice.

Propping herself up into a sitting position, every muscle in her body ached from the uncomfortable sleep on the hard ground. Her eyes scanned the surrounding area in search of Egon, but he was nowhere to be found.

"Rauul... You know better than to come so close, and you know better than to bring so many others with you," Egon's voice carried a threatening tone.

"And you know better than to stay the night in her tent," the softspoken voice retorted. 

Adela's fear intensified, mingling with a deep sense of mortification. She felt a surge of vulnerability in her veins.

Who knew that they spent the night together and what could they possibly be thinking of her right now?!

"She was bitten by a snake," Egon explained impatiently.

"...Is this why you went on a rampage and killed so many?" the soft-spoken man questioned with a touch of disbelief.

"It doesn't matter."

"But it does matter," the man persisted. "We do not take the lives of living creatures without justification in these lands... And since when do you care about who gets bitten?"

"Just don't let your men come any closer if you value their lives," Egon warned.

Adela shuddered at Egon's callousness towards taking lives, as if it were as inconsequential as the fluctuating weather of Latora.

"She's under our protection here, and you know it," The man Egon called Rauul asserted.

Are they talking about me?

"If they so much as look at her for too long..." Egon's voice trailed off, leaving the threat hanging in the air.

"My friend... The only plausible justification for you to be acting this way is if she was..." Rauul's voice dripped with disbelief, unable to finish his sentence.

"She's the impossible... We can never be," 

The sharp pain Adela felt in her heart upon hearing what she already knew was almost unbearable. She bit the inside of her cheek hard, trying to stifle her emotions and breathe through the pain.

"The man who crossed before us. Where is he?" Egon's voice demanded suddenly, cutting through the tension.

"Going the wrong way. Otherwise, Kaiser's mercenaries would have put an end to his little adventure," 

End? Adela's panic intensified, her mind racing with worry for Arkin.

"Don't give me that look. My blood runs in his veins too. We will not harm him," Rauul reassured, "And you... You have to marry her, Egon. You can't touch her before that,"

There was a slight pause with the distinct ruffling of leaves being unwrapped loudly off of something.

"Here... My debt to you has been settled with this. Now get her out. We want no ill blood with Alkadim, but we will attack at her command, even if it's you."

Adela winced when she heard a scoff.

"Your debt will be settled when you bring him to me. You have until sunset," Egon declared firmly, his tone leaving no room for negotiation or delay.

Her ears only caught the sound of the wind scattering around the tent, but inside of her, the presence of others seemed to have subsided.

She winced again when Egon cursed; never before had she heard such vulgar language. Before she could gather herself, he entered the tent, appearing surprised to find her awake.

Egon frowned and rubbed his face roughly. "This place messes with my senses."

"...Who was that?" she asked, her voice cracking before placing her hand on her throat.

"An old friend," he replied, making his way to one of the water bags and handing it to her.

She took it with one hand while holding the mattress to her chest with the other. "...Who's Alkadim?"

He seemed bothered by her question as he sat down, folding his legs on the ground next to her. "...It's an alias they have for someone I know."

Adela drank too quickly, and some of the water trickled down her chin and neck. She paused, breathing heavily, and looked at him. His eyes followed the path of the water. She blushed as she wiped it away with the back of her hand that held the water bag.

"Why are you really here?" Her voice finally came out sharp and piercing.

He shrugged, a crooked smile forming on his lips but not reaching his dark eyes. "The same reason you're here for."

"Don't lie."

His smile vanished. "Why do you think I'm here?"

"...You're not following him; you're following me."

He studied her face for a long moment, his eyes burning wherever they touched. "And what if I am?" he said, his gaze fixed on her parted lips.

Overwhelmed with sudden anger, Adela clenched both of her hands, raising the mattress to cover herself further. "Why would you want the impossible!" she snapped.

He smiled bitterly this time, placing a hand over his heart and making a fist. "This dead part of me is not listening... You're like an illness... Or like death... I can't distance myself from you when you want it. And when I manage to create some distance, you invade it like it's nothing..."

Adela's eyes welled up with tears, but she swallowed them back. She needed to be strong in this moment.

"I know we can't be together, but I can't stop myself from desiring the impossible," he breathed.

Finding no honor in his declaration, Adela turned her face away from him.

"...Mind if you leave for a moment while I dress?"

He moved away and then picked up something, returning to her side. He placed a new bag beside her.

"Courtesy from the people of the desert," he murmured.

She watched as he opened the bag and took out what appeared to be light yet reliable clothing. Egon fastened something onto the long white fabric.

"What is this?" she asked.

"A brooch. It's a gift from House von Conradie, Lady Larissa's wishes,"

Larissa? She wondered how much more he was determined to hurt her in one day. She was on the verge of asking him why he bothered to save her life in the first place, only to trample over her pride and dignity afterwards.

Maybe this is his way of seeking revenge for his family...

"...I will be right outside. We'll have breakfast afterwards," Egon said, walking away as if he hadn't noticed the pain etched on her face.

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