96:  A long talk with Egon

 A long talk with Egon

The manor, a place of Adela's upbringing, where laughter and tears coexisted as one, where dreams and nightmares took shape, and where Egon's lips met hers in a kiss. How peculiar it now felt... As if the very essence of the place had shifted.1

Is this how Claude feels as he walks through the frigid halls of the royal palace?

"Do you require anything else, My Lady?" Bernard inquired, unable to bear the silence any longer.

"Yes. I want you to personally check on the Baroness and provide me with news about her promptly," Adela replied.

Bernard adjusted his demeanor, aware that finding the Baroness was a straightforward task, but once she disappeared, who could predict where the knights would locate Lady de Lanark?

He couldn't fathom asking Adela about her intentions, not when she seemed so adrift, resembling not a grown woman, but a lost child.

"When did she depart for the neighboring estate?" Adela inquired once again about her sister.

"When the Count relayed news of the forest incident, news reached us carried by one of the guards,"

"I see...I suppose she now belongs there, even if her betrothed has departed for Kolhis...Inform her to seek me out if she returns before I locate her," Adela instructed.

Unable to decide whether it was a blessing or a curse, Adela, who couldn't find Larissa anywhere in the mansion made the decision to leave behind her parents and the ghosts of the past. It was too early to request a report on Arkin's whereabouts, and though she hoped Leopold had recovered from the poison and escaped the trap, she couldn't bear to see him at the moment.

She roamed without purpose like a phantom of the past herself, her feet guiding her to the sunflower meadow. There, she settled amidst the towering blooms and surrendered to her emotions.

"You told me to open my eyes," she whispered to herself, the conversations she had with Egon von Conradie were like relentless drops shaping stone, they corroded the once unbreakable trust she had in her family.

What else is a lie?

Is anything real anymore?

A perfect life, centered around her flawless father...

"Who is Kaiser de Lanark?"

As tears streamed down her face, a rustling sound nearby confirmed her sense of another's presence.

"Larissa?" 

"No," came the reply.

Adela resisted the urge to raise her gaze and meet his eyes. Her swollen, reddened eyes were surely evident to him, a testament to her recent tears.

Egon sat on the damp ground beside her, his gaze fixed straight ahead giving her the space and time she needed to regain her composure.

It took a while before her breathing steadied.

"I grew up in poverty and lost my mother at a tender age. That loss became the anchor that held me back, no matter where I went or how far I traveled. I knew who was responsible for our suffering, and I returned to Lanark to seek retribution for what they had put us through. Then I met you."

Adela's nails dug into her clenched fists, her head kept steadfastly forward.

"Recently, I discovered that my uncle had a child. It happened when he began searching for him. I had my doubts about his existence until it was confirmed at Andreas's engagement ceremony, when Gustav confessed everything to my uncle. The storm that raged inside me was so intense that I almost burst into that room and took a life on the spot."

He glanced at Adela, who shuddered at the raw honesty in his words.

"It was fortunate that you followed me out of the celebration hall...It was incredibly difficult for me, you see. My uncle had suffered even more, and to learn that they had hidden a son from him for years was a devastating blow."

Egon took a deep breath, filling the small space between them before continuing.

"That day when I followed you over the hill, I came to tell you that it was incredibly hard. That this love... is incredibly difficult. That I may not be ready for it until I resolve my family affairs. But my words came out wrong, and I ended up hurting you."

Adela's gaze remained fixed on his hands, tightly clasped together, fingers interlocking as he spoke. It became clear to her that it wasn't Egon who needed to make amends; it was herself.

"You are not to blame, Egon... I comprehend your reaction. If I had found myself in the same situation, discovering such an egregious wrongdoing against someone I hold dear, I might have acted similarly. You mentioned that your anchor plunged into the depths of the sea that day... I now feel mine sinking just as profoundly. The life I once knew, along with everyone connected to it, will never be unchanged—it's the conclusion of an era."

She raised her gaze, meeting his face amidst the tall flowers that cast a gentle shade upon him.

"It's my turn now to be entangled in the grip of the past, Egon. I hope that this resolves the lingering tensions and settles the scores between us."

His gentle brown eyes delved into her deep olive-green ones.

"This is no longer about settling scores as I believed I had made clear to you before... But perhaps what you're experiencing now will aid you in comprehending the depths of the beast I am."

A fleeting scoff escaped Adela's lips, mingling with her sadness. "Even if I come to comprehend your perspective and find common ground with you moving forward, what purpose does it serve for either of us?" she questioned and searched his face for an answer at the same time. "There is no 'us' anymore. The kiss we shared... and everything else between us. They must all remain in the past, isn't that right?"

She granted him a brief moment to answer, but when silence lingered, her fear of hearing his response, uncertain of what she truly desired to hear, propelled her to rise and walk away from him.

pqdm.com