338: I will wait for you

I will wait for you

So that was his ultimatum, she thought bitterly.1

Separation was the consequence of her departure from his estate against his wishes—the unspoken threat that had hung between them. Adela's voice matched her numbness as she implored.

"Speak plainly, Egon. Make your intentions clear."

"My intentions are clear. I must go look for my brother. I don't know how long it will take to find him, and I don't want you to wait for me." 

"I will wait for you," she replied.

Egon gave a disapproving shake of his head. 

"Go back to your parents. Be with the people you trust, where you feel safe. You belong to House de Lanark."

The truth struck her, and she realized her husband wasn't talking about a temporary separation but an indefinite one. There couldn't be any lingering doubts. She couldn't allow her future self to wonder what if.

"…You don't want me?" she asked, her voice trembling.

Egon met her gaze with those enigmatic eyes. "Am I wanted by you?" 

"Yes," she said without hesitation.

"Why? For who I truly am? Or for the role I've played for you and your noble family?" His words dripped with sarcasm.

His biting remarks did nothing to change her mind. I want you for all that you are. But the words remained unspoken. Frustration and anger welled up inside her as she questioned her own actions. What am I doing? she wondered, feeling the need to fight for their marriage and the love they shared.

"…When I think about you not being with me, my insides crumble. I can't breathe," she admitted in a small voice.

Her heartfelt confession seemed to fall on deaf ears as Egon appeared entirely unaffected by her veiled pleas. "Our bodies become addicted to the worst substance, and the cure is simple: abstinence. You'll feel better once your empathy for my bond wanes… As time passes, you'll wonder how a noblewoman like you ever fell for the trap of a beast like me." 

His stubbornness and arrogance continued to perplex her as he casually took shots at her pride.

"Egon..."

In a moment of vulnerability, she made the decision to reveal the possibility of carrying their child. She needed him to know this crucial piece of information before he left. Placing her hand gently on her abdomen, she looked up at him with an intention to speak, but his lips were already in motion before hers could utter a word, his eyes fixed on the spot where her hand rested.

"I owe you an apology for asking you to consider Bastian a son to you. It is strange; I have never been more grateful for the fact that I cannot father children... What a relief!"

"...A relief?"

"Once I am far away, nothing will bind you to me."

She couldn't help but respond with a touch of sarcasm. "Apart from our wedding vows, you mean?"

He gazed at her for a long moment before he spoke again, "A divorce can solve that."

She paused to ponder the word that felt like it was spoken in an unfamiliar tongue. However, her thoughts raced against her emotions. As per the terms of her dowry, if Egon were to initiate the divorce, she would be entitled to half of the von Conradie fortune.

The very idea of it made her feel queasy.

"House de Lanark does not need charity from House von Conradie," she retorted firmly.

Egon's dark eyes flashed with a challenging glint. "Does this mean that you are the one asking for the divorce?"

Adela couldn't believe what she was hearing. Surely, he couldn't be serious.

"You will hear from us about it soon," she replied, her pride preventing her from saying anything more on the matter for now. "I must go see Father now."

Egon's gaze flickered to the knights around them, and for a brief moment, his composure slipped, revealing his unwillingness to let her go.

Adela felt torn. Should she run to him? Would he hold her?

When his gaze locked onto hers once more, he appeared like a lost boy who had unexpectedly stumbled upon a crime scene and now felt the urge to flee from it. "...Farewell, Lady Adelaide," he uttered.

That's it? Farewell?

"...Farewell, My Lord."

Adela had no idea that one's shattered heart could linger in a place while their body walked away from it until she experienced it firsthand. She turned away from her husband and headed toward her father's estate, leaving his bewildered, innocent face and a piece of her heart behind her.

What was she supposed to do? Fall to her knees and beg him to want her and stay in Lanark for their sake? Why? To be tormented by the absence of Bastian while pretending not to be?

The whole situation felt surreal, and if it weren't for the mate bond that pulled painfully at her the farther they moved apart, she might have believed it was a dreadful nightmare.

He'll come after me... Won't he?

With her legs feeling unsteady beneath her, Adela considered stopping and calling for the nearest knight to assist her. Despair was washing over her like a relentless waterfall over stones, carving a hollow emptiness inside her with each painful step Egon took away from her.

She glanced back, but he was no longer visible. The reality of his intentions was sinking in, and it became clear that he must be hurting deeply to reach out to her through their bond with such intensity. He wouldn't have done that if he didn't know that their separation would be prolonged this time.

What am I doing?

Adela was on the verge of turning around and running back to him, pleading with him not to leave her for his adult brother who had chosen to distance himself and pursue his own life. She was ready to beg Egon to stay by her side if that's what it took to keep him with her.

That was when she heard the sound of a carriage approaching, bearing the colors and emblem of House de Lanark. This particular carriage was the one her father used for long-distance travel. It came to a halt, and the door opened.

Father?

She moved slowly, carefully, well aware of her unsteady footing. She let out a heavy yet thankful breath when she saw her father emerging from the carriage, his hand reaching out for her.

"Adelaide," he said in a sympathetic tone, his blue eyes filled with fatherly love.

It was difficult, but she managed to hold back tears as she took her father's extended hand.

"I was on my way to fetch you," he murmured in a somber tone. "I'm relieved to find you here, away from them."

pqdm.com