209: A painful return (part 1)

A painful return (part 1)

It took a considerable amount of time on foot, especially since she found herself lost on the familiar roads she once knew like the back of her hand. Nevertheless, she persevered and ran all the way from the forest to her father's estate.  2

"Thank the heavens... Adela." Arkin greeted her at the gate to the garden, his expression initially filled with relief but quickly transformed into one of horror as she unveiled her disheveled hair. 

"Emily is tied near the houses of the eastern entrance, please retrieve her," she urgently requested. 

Arkin continued to stare at her face, his anger glaring. "What happened in that house, Adela?" he demanded.

In an instant, Adela concluded that Arkin must have been involved in the initial scheme Bastian had mentioned, the one that Egon had altered, fully aware that she overheard their conversation.

"...I need some time alone," she evaded his outstretched hand, about to seize hold of her. She knew precisely where she intended to go. 

"Adela!" 

She heard her brother's cry behind her, but she focused solely on running again, despite her sore feet, ragged breaths, and the all-encompassing ache in her body. None of it compared to the anguish in her heart.

She ascended the hill, passing by the apparitions of her memories with Egon, would a day come when she could recall them without this accompanying misery? 

Finally, she found him, fortunate that it was the hour when all the falcons were at rest after a long day of hunting. He appeared transformed with his elongated black feathers, impressive size, and piercing yellow eyes that immediately locked onto her presence. 

Young Kannen.

Adela advanced cautiously now, her previous resolve wavering. She had rushed all the way from the forest for the sole purpose of returning her new companion to Egon. The déjà vu of surrendering her life's companion to him as payment for the lands she reclaimed was a faint echo of the original pain.

With trepidation, she extended her hand to caress his exquisite new feathers, mentally referring to him as young Kannen. He had responded to that name when Aldric used it, and the resemblances in the two birds' behaviors were unmistakable. Nevertheless, she couldn't bring herself to speak the name aloud, fearing it might dishonor Kannen's memory.

"...You have become everything I envisioned, and you will only grow into a mightier bird of prey," she murmured, pressing her forehead against his—a gesture he reciprocated as if they had shared it a hundred times before. 

"I am truly grateful for the time we spent together in my room..." 

Her choice to bid him farewell accompanied by a brief speech proved to be heart-wrenching. She decided not to fuel the fire consuming her, opting for brevity. It was better for both of them that way.

"You must go," she whispered into his ear, her voice strained. 

"Go where?" 

Adela turned around slowly, keeping one hand on young Kannen, and faced her father. 

It was the most painful curtsy she ever performed in her life. "Greetings, Your Excellency," she spoke with a detached tone, her eyes briefly accusing Arkin, who stood behind Kaiser with an apologetic countenance. It was evident that Arkin had summoned him here during his busiest hour in the afternoon. 

"I asked, where must he go, Adelaide?" Kaiser repeated, his gaze icy. "What is happening? What aren't you telling me? Explain yourself." 

She stared back, feeling none of the intimidation she had experienced towards the almighty Kaiser de Lanark only a few seasons ago. 

"The bird must return to its place of origin. It cannot remain here, Your Excellency. Not even for another hour." 

She braced herself for rejection or interrogation, yet all she received was a simple nod. 

"Arkin," 

"Yes, Your Excellency," 

"You mentioned that you were planning to visit Leopold von Conradie in the morning, did you not?" 

Adela's heavy eyes shifted to Arkin's face, his hazel eyes drilling into her swollen ones. 

"I was on my way there when she finally returned," he explained. 

"I see. While you are there, send word for someone to prepare suitable accommodation to receive the bird. Dispatch our finest falconers to assess the environment before we return this gift." 

"Yes, Your Excellency." Casting one last glance in her direction, Arkin turned on his heels and departed. 

"I don't understand, Adelaide. Lately, did you come to believe that I don't perceive your struggles? You expressed your desire for solitude to Arkin—does it include me as well?" 

It did.

She averted her gaze from his wounded blue eyes, unable to spare any consideration for anyone else in her current state. 

"Adelaide," he said, drawing closer, "Loneliness is never the solution when you are in such despair. On the contrary, it only amplifies your sense of helplessness. Why would you choose to face your troubles alone when I am here for you?" 

As she remained silent, avoiding eye contact, he took her hand, nestled among the feathers of the bird, and placed it over his heart. 

"I, for one, am not going anywhere. And you shall hear what I have to say," he asserted, gently pressing her hand against his heart until she could feel its steady beat. "You are a formidable opponent against adversity. Just as you triumphed over Aldric's ship today, you will overcome all of this. Isolating yourself will not lead to a solution; it will only complicate matters further. You need to share your pain with your loved ones. Or have you stopped loving me?"

Unable to indulge him with insincere sentiment, she felt desolate, like a yellow leaf out of season, mistakenly clinging to a tree. 

Kaiser sighed. 

"This is about Egon von Conradie, isn't it?" 

She lacked the energy to confirm or deny it at this point, nor did she see any reason to. 

"So, you choose not to share your pain with me... Are you, perhaps, too proud to do so?" 

Pride? She would settle for a semblance of normal dignity, but that now seemed far-fetched. 

"At times, pride can be detrimental. It may strip you of your loved ones and an entire future shared with them. Pride might rob you of these," he bit his lip, "I have witnessed it and lived through it, Adelaide. I do not wish to witness its repetition once more." He continued to hold her hand firmly against his beating heart. "Listen, I will say this only once." 

Her weary eyes burned as she turned them toward her father, finding his blue eyes to be warm pools inviting her in. 

"Before your mother, my heart belonged to another woman."

Even in her disoriented state, she couldn't afford to disregard her father's words. 

"One word from me could have rectified the misunderstanding between us, altering both our lives..." his voice grew somber, "Our lives... They could have taken a completely different path. But I was too proud." 

She searched his face as he searched hers. 

"I share this with you so that you may reconsider. I never want you to proceed into a future where you would look back at this point in your life and wonder 'what if.'" 

He let her hand go only to embrace her head and repeatedly kiss her forehead. His beard, unlike Egon's, felt soft to the touch, and that distinction alone was painfully evident. 

"Go to your chambers and rest now. If you still desire to return the gift, do so this evening. I will not impede you." 

She closed her eyes and nodded in her father's arms.

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