156: Losing himself - Bastian's POV (part 3)

Losing himself - Bastian's POV (part 3)

1Leopold resembled a ghostly version of his former self, his complexion sallow, lips tinged with a bluish hue, and his eyes vacant. He lay still on the bed, while Egon sat beside him, firmly holding his hand. Bastian observed the scene from a distance, while Arkin stood nearby with his arms crossed.

For an extended period, Egon had been persistently endeavoring to keep Leopold's mind engaged and occupied—a task that had stumped three different mind doctors, who, for some inexplicable reason, had all failed to achieve the same result.

"You were the one who instilled in us the importance of holding on to life no matter how challenging it may be, to embrace each day fully, and to depend on ourselves and each other when the world abandons us. How could someone as resilient as you simply give up on living?" Egon's voice trembled with a blend of desperation and genuine concern.

Leopold replied wearily, his voice carrying a hint of exhaustion, "Every person has their limits, and I've reached mine. I've hit a dead end."

"You must understand that there are always alternative paths to explore. One dead end does not outweigh the numerous challenges you've triumphed over. Uncle, did you even consider how Bastian and I would cope if you surrendered to despair? How do you think we would endure your absence, after all the other losses we've endured?" Egon's voice quivered with emotion, and for a fleeting instant, his stoic facade fractured, revealing the raw vulnerability within before he composed himself again with iron resolve.

"I was exhausted. I longed for rest, to be with my brother."

Egon's hand shielded the lower portion of his face, while the upper half contorted with anguish and disbelief. He brushed away the tears that clung stubbornly to the edges of his eyelids, refusing to surrender to gravity.

"I was there, I saw it all unfold. I arrived mere seconds before you drove that dagger into your own body... How could you subject me to such pain once again? Uncle... I haven't even begun to recover from Father's deeds."

Bastian's eye, unlike Egon's, allowed tears to flow freely down his cheek.

"...I was just a child then, powerless to stop him," Egon's voice cracked. "I watched Mother's lifeless body beside me, feeling Bastian's warmth as he was placed in my lap. I had to protect something. That's why I lived that day... Don't you have anything to protect, uncle?"

Egon licked his lips, swallowing back more tears.

"What if I hadn't been there for you? What if I hadn't arrived in time to extract that cursed dagger?..."

Leopold remained motionless.

"I understand why you felt so desperate. I can see how utterly alone you feel right now. My absence from this household was a grievous mistake... I accept complete responsibility for the anguish you inflicted upon yourself today, and I vow to rectify it, uncle. I give you my solemn pledge."

"I found my son after all these years," Leopold revealed.

Arkin flinched beside Bastian, the revelation catching him off guard.

"I sought to win my son's affection, but my approach may have been misguided. I pushed you and Bastian away in the process. And he... my own flesh and blood, does not desire or require my presence... First, Andreas departed from our lives, then you moved out, and finally, Bastian chose to reside with you, as stated in his note.

A pained exhalation escaped Leopold's lips before he continued.

"... Yet the most arduous aspect is witnessing all of you drifting further from me, gravitating towards the de Lanarks, the very source of our anguish... It burdens me greatly. I could no longer bear the weight of it alone... My own son rejects me, yet he draws nearer to Grace. She... she was the first to abandon me..."

Arkin stepped into the room, dragging a chair closer to his father's bedside, and settled down beside him. the Commander's words carried a comforting warmth as he spoke, "While I may not have experienced fatherhood myself, I believe that the bonds between parent and child take time to develop. However, I fully understand the trauma caused by unrequited love and how it can poison one's mind if allowed to fester... Those who have abandoned you should be released from your thoughts. Instead, focus on those who genuinely desire to be by your side,"

Arkin's comforting hand rested gently on Leopold's shoulder before he continued.

"Grace de Lanark was merely a child when she gave birth to me. She had no choice but to part with me... Only God knows if it was her decision to give you up as well. The Baroness told me all about it... She was extremely depressed for a year after and more... I implore you to let go of your blame towards her. She is not a malevolent person... and neither are you," Arkin withdrew his arm from Leopold's shoulder, his gaze filled with sincerity.

"Just because we haven't bridged the gap swiftly doesn't mean it won't eventually heal. I will be here for you, and even when I am physically absent, a simple word from you will bring me to your side."

Egon's hand gently rested on Arkin's shoulder, mirroring the support he had given his uncle moments ago. "Andreas may not be here, but I am, uncle. I will return to this estate and stand by your side, as well as Bastian's. We will reunite as a family, and I will do everything in my power to make things right."

As the night enveloped the surroundings, Egon's gaze turned toward the window, his expression growing somber. "Rest now, uncle. I won't leave your side. When you awaken, I will still be here, ready to face whatever lies ahead."

Bastian's eyes remained fixed on his uncle, his brother, and his cousin. Emotions churned inside him, yet he remained silent, unable to find the words to express the turmoil within. A silent observer, intricately entwined in their lives, yet concealed as the source of their collective suffering.

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