175: Forever regretted - Grace's POV

Forever regretted - Grace's POV

How ironic.0

That was the thought that consumed Grace's mind as she made her way to the former estate of the man she was about to be forced to marry, only to console the man she had been forced apart from.

"Are you alright?" her son asked her.

She looked up at the Commander's handsome face, noticing that his hazel eyes were the exact same shade as Leopold's. However, his overall features resembled her father from the beginning and even more so as he grew into a man. She couldn't help but feel a deep sense of pride in him. Even the fact that he adjusted his stride to match hers made her feel a warm sense of appreciation deep within.

"Thank you for accompanying me, Arkin," 

"…"

She had been deprived of both her father and her son, yet she loved them both from a distance. The knowledge that they were safe and protected brought her a sense of succor, and she owed it all to her husband, Kaiser de Lanark.

"...I can inform Egon that you're not feeling well, and he will understand," 

He wouldn't understand. He would perceive her as a coward, someone who had hurt his uncle, deceived him, and kept their son hidden. All of it was true. Nonetheless, to avoid further jeopardizing Egon's relationship with Adela, Grace was willing to endure walking barefoot over the sand of Latora.

"I am not important right now," she murmured softly.

Her son averted his gaze and replied, "Don't say that. I can only imagine how difficult it has been for you. It has been challenging right from the beginning. Please, Stop pretending that it doesn't affect you."

She turned her head away too. The younger generation knew nothing. It was the world Kaiser had shaped for them. And she wasn't hiding any of it. She had Kaiser to listen to her, to love her, and to protect her. Meanwhile, Leopold was left all alone to face two subsequent tragedies.

Was it the ultimate justice of destiny for the last descendants of the Empress to bear the price for all the persecutions the Emorians had endured? All of this had to come to an end. Grace was determined to ensure it, regardless of the cost.

"Here's Egon," Arkin gestured with his chin towards Egon, who was sitting by the last staircase leading to Emanuel's former estate.

"Your Excellency," Egon staggered to his feet, the evidence of sleepless nights apparent in the circles around his eyes.

"Sir Egon," she maintained a stoic expression, "What happened to him..."

He looked away with raised eyebrows, "He is not alright at all," he shook his head, his shoulders slumping. "After the incident, he insisted on visiting father's cottage, the one that I renovated... It happened that I had business there to attend to... Uncle got worse there..." Egon's voice trailed off, his gaze shifting downwards, "We caught him sneaking into the forest, a few of his stitches opened..."

Grace turned her face around, envisioning the scene of the two brothers whom Leopold had raised as they pulled him away from the forest that took away their loved ones. No longer able to feign a lack of empathy, she tightly squeezed her eyes shut, her lips pressed together.

"We hurried back here with him after that," he gestured for her to proceed alongside him, indicating that it was time to move forward.

Before he went along his way, Arkin cast one last look at the woman who gave birth to him and said, "I will be nearby."

She gave her son a single nod before taking Egon's hand with one hand and lifting her dress with the other. Together, they ascended the stairs, eventually coming to a stop by the door.

"He won't talk to anyone, not even us," Egon explained, a note of frustration in his voice. "He is refusing to meet with more doctors."

She looked up at him, her eyes searching for confirmation. "Mad doctors?" 

His head dipped down, his gaze following, and he nodded ever so subtly in agreement.

"There is this wall between us," Egon confessed, his voice weighed down with frustration. "I can't get through to him. He needs somebody who can walk through his walls and reach the depths of his spirits."

Grace turned her head away once more, finding it increasingly difficult to meet Egon's gaze.

"I am hopeful that you will be the one to do that," 

"I will do my best... And I will arrange for an old friend of mine to visit him soon," 

"Much obliged, Your Excellency,"

He opened the door for her and closed it behind her as she entered. Her eyes scanned the reception area until they found him seated on a couch. His once radiant complexion appeared pallid, his hands intertwined in his lap as he leaned back. His eyes were fixed on a single point in the ceiling, as if seeing things beyond the present moment.

With an impassive countenance, his eyes descended to her face and displayed the faintest glimmer of surprise as she glanced down at him. Neither of them felt the necessity to exchange meaningless words of greetings.

She walked over to the reception area and settled herself on the edge of his couch, with neither of them making eye contact.

"How are you..." Her tone lacked the usual questioning inflection. When he didn't look at her, she abruptly turned her face towards him, her chest rising and falling rapidly in sync with her racing, aching heart. Her eyes scanned his profile, taking in the sight of his partially unbuttoned shirt that revealed the bandaged area around his abdomen, and his clenched fists resting on his lap. "...Do you feel better now."

"I'm well," he murmured, his lips barely moving, his gaze fixed ahead.

"I've told you before to stop dwelling in the past, Leopold. It's enough. Try to embrace the present moment. Look ahead and strive to create a brighter tomorrow."

He made a feeble attempt to grimace, "Tomorrow..."

Grace turned her face away from him, her hair standing on end as she sensed that he had lost all desire to carry on living.

"I'm drowning, Grace. The water is so heavy and dark. I can't tell which end is the surface anymore."

She wondered if the prophecy her friend had given her before she passed away had not been dispelled but simply postponed. She questioned whether, despite all she had done to prevent it, Leopold would still meet an untimely demise.

The thought was unbearable.

She crouched on the ground next to him, her head resting on his knee. With both hands, she tightly gripped his leg, her eyes glistening with tears she felt she had no right to shed for him.

"Forgive me," her voice trembled as his hand tenderly settled on her hair. But it was the only response she received from him.

She might have saved his life in the past, but Leopold remained and would always be Grace's greatest regret.

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