410: All Out In The Open Now

All Out In The Open Now

(Jake)0

I found myself back in my own bed and more than slightly disoriented. It took me some time before I realized I wasn't dreaming and that really happened. My brother is a professional baseball player. My dad is dead. I have an uncle. 

I wonder if there's an aunt? A cousin or two? And...why did none of them come for me? Good news, my dad didn't not want me. Bad news, more people exist that didn't want me. I was struggling with how to feel. 

I got out of bed and checked the time: 4pm. The boys should still be at practice. I hope Coach doesn't get too mad that I skipped...again. I have to have the poorest attendance out of all the varsity players. 

I went to the bathroom to wash my face and clear the gunk out of my eyes. Then I headed downstairs. I found Mr. Atkins sitting in the living room, watching some kind of tv show on home improvement. 

"Jake." He stood up once he noticed me. "How are you feeling now?"

I shrugged, then looked around. "You're alone?"

Mr. Atkins gave a tight smile. "Mary and Dr. Moore had to go meet with Doug Duncan. We're mandated to report anything about you and your family to social services."

I gave a nod. I wasn't surprised. 

Mr. Atkins looked at me for a second longer than normal. "Hey, we've got some time before dinner. Let's go get some ice cream." He waved me to follow him, not caring if I really wanted to go or not. 

Like before, he drove me to the coast, we grabbed some ice cream and sat on his favorite bench. 

"It's getting a little warmer now." Mr. Atkins said between licks. "Soon, you won't have to bundle up so much."

I ate my ice cream slowly as I looked out towards the ocean, watching the waves roll in and the sun started to get lower. 

"Jake? Why don't you tell me what you're thinking right now?" Mr. Atkins probed. 

"I have a brother." The words came out like I declared the grass is green or that the sky was blue. It was a fact. No opinion of it. 

I thought Mr. Atkins would be surprised, but he just nodded. "I know."

I frowned. "Did Dr. Moore tell you?"

Mr. Atkins dug something out of his pocket, and handed it over to me. It was...

"Dr. Moore suspected awhile ago that you had a brother. Mary poked around and found this when she went on that trip with Zeke." Mr. Atkins explained where the photo came from. A neighbor from the first house I lived in, but the boy beside my brother had passed away so they didn't know anything besides the initials on the back. "We thought J.J. would be his first and last name, but now I suppose it's his first and middle initial."

I stared at the boy in the picture. He was bigger than I was at that age. He looked happy. What am I saying? He IS happy. "He's a professional baseball player." I told Mr. Atkins. 

"Yes, I looked him up a little more closely now that we know he's your family." Mr. Atkins answered plainly. 

"My family?" I felt a little sick to my stomach after hearing those words. The more I thought about it, the more angry I felt. "If he thought we were family, would I still be alone in this world?" I put my ice cream down, scared I might throw it in anger. 

"Jake, you're not alone." Mr. Atkins scooted closer to me. "I'm here for you. So is Mary. The boys. Dr. Moore. Your coaches. Your teammates. Classmates. Family isn't limited by blood relations."

I looked up at him, eyes stinging. "Is this how you felt? When you found out that your dad was gone?"

Mr. Atkins frowned. "Slightly similar, but there are some differences."

"I'm..really angry." I sighed. And tired. I was really tired of this. "At him. Them. My mother."

"Don't keep it bottled in. You can talk to me and Mary about anything. Same with Dr. Moore and Mr. Duncan." Mr. Atkins put an arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to keep me warm from the cool evening air. "I'm sorry we went behind your back when Mary took the trip to your old home."

I was confused on where he was going with that, but then I realized he wanted an apology too. We all kept secrets from each other. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys about my brother."

"It's okay. We all make mistakes." Mr. Atkins smiled at me. 

Feeling shy, I looked out to the ocean. We sat in silence for a few minutes. "What happens now? Are...they going...to take me away?"

"Not necessarily." Mr. Atkins answered. "The first step is to tell Mr. Duncan everything. Then he'll have to confirm your relationship with them." I heard him swallow rather loudly. "After that..."

I looked up at him. "You'll have to give me up?"

"No. Errr." He hesitated. He scooted away so he could look me in the eyes. "Actually. What I'm trying to say is that...we've been hiding something else."

My heart started to pound in nervousness. "What..?"

"Jake, we were looking for your dad too. We want to officially adopt you into our family." Mr. Atkins watched me wearily. 

For the first time today, I filled up with warmth. "Okay."

"Okay?" Mr. Atkins repeated. "You...aren't mad at me, are you?"

I laughed a little. "No. The reason Noah and I were looking for my dad...is to get him to sign away his parental rights. I want to stay with you guys all the time. You guys are amazing, kind, loving, and just...just what I think a family should be like."

Mr. Atkins beamed with happiness.

I looked away and rubbed my eyes. "You...do you think that makes me a bad person?" I paused. "Because I want a new family?"

"No way, kiddo. You were dealt a bad hand; nothing you can change about your parents." He patted my head. "It's just another detour for you."

I glanced at him, remembering the first time we came here. So he could tell me about his past and his dad. "You said you didn't get your answers immediately...how long did it take?"

Mr. Atkins smiled crookedly. "It was different for me. I was kicked out. As for you?" He shrugged a little. "We don't know what came first. Did he ever leave you or did he die? That's what Mr. Duncan will find out."

I looked to the sun setting on the ocean. "So...do you think...he loved me?" I took a deep breath. "Like a normal parent?"

Mr. Atkins took some time to respond. "I want to tell you yes. Just because, how could he not? You're a wonderful kid."

"But?" I asked, knowing one was coming. 

"But I won't lie to you. I don't know this man. Heck, I hardly know your mom besides what I read. You can't judge someone based on a feeling. I know what your mom did to you, and that makes her a bad person. For your dad, we don't know anything just yet." He rested his hand on top of my head. "Let's wait and see, and reserve judgement for when we know the facts."

I nodded slowly. That's the best I could do for now. 

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