360: My own child

My own child

Thank you for all the love you all are giving me! I read some of the comments where you guys asked for extra chapters I wish I could … but I am still working on the plot and have to change the revenge thing because Yu Dong's anger would no longer be justifiable in this scenario unlike the time they were dead. Give me a few days to stockpile.1

—————————————————————

Hearing the tremors in her voice, Shen Li and Ye Liu looked up and were surprised to find that Yu Dong has been reduced to tears as she glared at them. Their heart ached and they suddenly couldn't help but feel even more guilty than the time when they were tying those ropes around their necks—— they thought that they were doing the right thing but was it the right thing to do if Yu Dong was crying because of them?

Shen Li and Ye Liu were weak but they have been nourished by both Wu Junfen and Yu Dong's spiritual energy which was why they were in a lot more better condition than the other people who hung themselves and were later rescued. Shen Li somehow managed to push himself off the bed but Yu Dong pushed him back as she wiped the tears from her eyes. " Dong Dong, please don't cry… Our intention was never to make you cry, we just wanted to do what was the best for you."

" Did I ever say that you two dying was the best thing for me?" Yu Dong turned to look at him with tears still glimmering in her eyes. " Like ever? Did I tell you that I want you to get out of my life? You chose to do that, don't…don't say that you did it for me Li, because if you knew me as well as you think you did, then you would have known that I would have never been the same if  I had to pick your cold corpses off the tree and bury them in a grave, do you think that I would have been fine after doing such a thing?"

" Dong Dong, I——"

" Do you have any idea what I went through when I saw you two hanging on the tree, lifeless and cold? I felt like all the life from my body has been sapped away! I couldn't even bring myself to..to.." she trailed off as she looked away and swallowed hard before sniffing and wiping the tears on her cheeks. " Fine forget about me, I am nothing but a stranger who barged into your lives, you two could have at least thought about Mi right? The second he heard that you two were dead, he lost his consciousness and hasn't recovered from it, last I saw him, he was having a fever …even now he is mumbling things like don't die, don't leave me alone in his fever."

" Three times, three times he woke up from nightmares and Fang Chi had to calm him down, those two are worried sick, if you didn't think of me, then you should have thought about Mi at the least, he cannot live without you guys, how can you do something like that to him? He is like sixteen for god sake, and yet he has to watch the two pillars of his life offing themselves, I can't even begin to describe what he might have been going through at the moment."

The more she spoke the guiltier Shen Li and Ye Liu became, back then they were too hurt that they couldn't help but feel that they have lost themselves, now that Yu Dong was questioning them, they were finally realising just what kind of step they took in just a moment of grief.

If they died today then they wouldn't have just left the world but people who would have to learn how to live without them from the scratch.  This was something that they never paused to consider and now that they were still alive and breathing, they couldn't help but think whether the step that they took was even right?

" Dong Dong, I … " Ye Liu didn't know what he wanted to say, he just couldn't bring himself to say such selfish words like 'I was upset,' they weren't even sincere, just because he was upset, he decided to leave his family behind? Yes, he would have been subjected to criticism if he were to stay alive but was dying and escaping the right thing to do if his family was going to be reduced to this state? 

Chen Mi was down with fever, Yu Dong was crying and heartbroken… even Fang Chi who should be resting in his condition was running around taking care of the family knowing that no one will be able to do it in his place in their conditions.

" I am sorry," Ye Liu finally whispered as he looked down at his hands and blinked his eyes, he couldn't even bring himself to cry when he saw how he have hurt his wife, his little brothers and maybe Yu Mai and little bun too. " I wasn't thinking straight, I thought... I thought that I was going to become a burden on you, I couldn't get pregnant too… I" he trailed off and it was Shen Li who finished his words. " We thought that if we stayed you will only be burdened by us, Dong Dong." 

He lowered his head and looked at his fingers that were clutching the quilt. " I know that you wouldn't have minded it if we didn't give you a child but we wanted one, for months I have been hoping to hold our child, I always believed that next month maybe the month next to that I will get pregnant and when that one hope shattered too, I couldn't bring myself to look myself in the eye much less you … I want a child Dong Dong, one that's ours…. Not adopted, not snatched from someone else but born from my own womb, is it too bad I want that? If ..,. If the one thing that I have been living for is going to be snatched from me as well, what am I going to live for?"

" I have always wanted to be a daddy Dong Dong, you can hate me for what I did but I … I really wanted to give birth to a child." He finished before covering his face and started crying. Yes, all his life .. what he wanted was a family of his own, he was willing to share his wife but now he also has to share someone's child?"

———

p.s: would you guys want them to get pregnant or remain as they are? Read rest below in a/n

pqdm.com