554: Blames, Pain and Acceptance.

Blames, Pain and Acceptance.

************1

CHAPTER 553

"I warned her, but she was too in love to follow my decision. If she had married Kim…"

Before he got the chance to finish his words, Li Jing shot him a cold glare.

"Don't you dare say that!"

He gulped, knowing fully well how much she hated that topic he was about to raise. 

"Don't even dare go down that road, grandpa.  Won't have it, ever."

"Li Jing."

"No. She was in love. Until when would you accept it? Do not tell me that till now in your heart, you still have not come to the fact that there was nothing, absolutely nothing, you were going to do that would have changed anything. It was her fate."

"What fate is that?"

"Okay, what if it was the Kim she married, what if the accident was fated for her and whomever she married would have gone down that road with her? What if?"

"I do not know. And I most definitely do not mean to make you cry. Yes, it is as you said. What if and what if not? I guess we would never know now, would we?"

"No, we wouldn't know but, I believe mum was happy till that last moment. So which would you have preferred? That she was happy before her final disappearance or that she was sad till the last moment?"

"Do not get me wrong, her happiness is all I seek."

"As should every parent in the world. As should you all. Never should you use your child's happiness for business or throw it away for business. It is all-important, be it poor or rich, that is not what matters but what the heart wanted and it wanted my father."

"Li Jing, please stop, you are hurting."

"No. Let me hurt. I just want to rng the truth out in your head one more time. No happiness is greater than the one birthed out of love."

"But what did that love leave you with? A foster family? An unhappy home, without the love of your actual birth parents. Their goal no matter what should also be your happiness not just theirs."

"It is the same thing we are saying, gramps. Same thing but we are both looking at different angles. I am looking at the love of my parents and you are looking at the love of their daughter. I am happy knowing full well that I enjoyed being with them before my loss of memory and that they were happy, especially my dad."

He let out an exasperated sigh. 

"I know you are but right now, you still are sad."

"Because that is life. It doesn't always give to us what we want and even when it does, it does so n the most unexpected way possible with hidden perks. I have come to accept that, gramps. And I cannot change the past but I can change my future."

"And what future is that?"

"That I ensure I and my husband are safe, safe from the evil schemes of those who hate us and that my children never, ever enter a loveless marriage."

"I understand and I am sorry, I brought this up."

"It is okay. I am just mad that due to my loss of memory, at least now I know why I had that, it is now I want to mourn my father."

"It is not too late, Jing baby. No matter how long and when he is still your father and I am sure, he loved you so much and would have been proud of you."

"You really think so?"

"Silly girl, I do not think so. I know so."

"Hahha…" she managed a peal of sad laughter before drawing closer to him for a hug.

"That's it dear. We both lost but thank goodness we found each other. I am happy that the heavens in their good graciousness choose to bless me with you."

"Me too."

"There, there. You can cry it out. Mourn your father all you want. I won't laugh, I won't stop you. He deserves it and more."

"Aahhh mmmm..."

Following his order, she unleashed her heart on him and wept uncontrollably.

Although she had not met him, she was in no doubt still pained and hurt. It was like her body knew him, her heart knew him and her whole being knew him even though her memory forgot.

So when she heard the news, pain like what she had not felt skyrocketed in her and broke forth.

"I am sorry, my darling. Sorry that I was not there when you needed me the most. Sorry that my incompetence led to your father's death and your mother's disappearance. I am so sorry."

"Gramps… hehheee…"

She wailed on and on, on his shoulders as did he and when she noticed a drop of his tears touch her shoulder, she pulled back and looked him in the eye.

"Why?"

"Because I regret my actions. Thinking well on it, I drove Quinyang to her disappearance and the poor young man to his death."

"No. How could you say that?"

"Yes, I did. Do not argue with m because I am your grandfather. If I had agreed to allow her to marry whom her heart chose, she never would have run away and stayed in a different place and of course, never would have met with such accident and mishap."

"But…"

"You cannot talk me out of this one. This is my guilt. Huilang and Jie had been right all along. I chased her away. I used my own hand to make my daughter go missing. It is I who killed your father, my darling. Please…"

His voice broke the more. The pain coursed through him as he held back not the tears, allowing them to flow out in her presence.

"Grandfather…"

"I am so sorry, Jing. I made you fatherless at a young age and stole the love you should have grown up with away from you. Please forgive me."

  "I forgive you, grandfather. I never even held a grudge against you. I love you. And I know mother and father would never hold a grudge against you too. I forgive you."

pqdm.com