Read Page 40

His words are nice, they make me feel something, but it isn’t enough of a something. I shake my head, "I'm sorry, Will. I can't do this."Advertisement

He sits up and pulls me down onto him. I struggle but he holds me there. The hot tears are there again. I sob into his shirt and hate myself for letting him touch me. When I feel his grip relax, I whisper, "I do love Jake. I always did." It's a lie but I need him to not want me. I need him to go away and leave me alone.

Instead, he wraps himself around me, "I know you're lying. I saw you swimming today. I saw you look scared, when you saw me. You were worried about what I thought, even though you sent that girl to hit on me."

I shake my head, "I'm sorry I shot you but I don’t want you."

He kisses my forehead and gets up, "I want you enough for us both for right now. I came to tell you too, we have a good size group of us to go after Marshall. We leave tomorrow. Star made that possible. Don't hate her."

I shake my head, "She's my family. The only real one I have left. She never lied to me."

He looks at me, "You know that thing your dad was holding out to you, when he was dying and he told you to take it? Babe, that was his heart. He gave you his heart and his hope and his love. That’s what was in his hand." He leans forward and grabs my hand, "Take mine too." He lets go of me and leaves the tent. The sound of the zipper hurts. I want him to stay.

I grip the pillow and try to make the hurting go away. Anna cracks an eye, "I'm your family, asshole."

I nod as a single tear drips down my face, "I know. Sorry. That was a shot at him, not you."

"I know…make him wait. He deserves to suffer before you forgive him."

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I scowl at her, "What makes you think I'm gonna forgive him?"

She grins, "In Granny's romance novels they always forgive them, after a bad heartbreak like that."

I laugh bitterly, "I've created a monster. I never should have told you to read that damned bookcase."

She smirks, "How else am I going to learn about love?"

I roll my eyes, "Not from me, that’s for damned sure. Did you read the Outlander book by the Gabaldon lady?"

She nods, "Yeah."

I sigh, "I wish Will was more like Jamie."

She sighs and whispers back, "I think we all wish men were like that."

I close my eyes and fight the dreams about tomorrow.

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