119: Confessional

Confessional

Li Ru finished playing and turned to look at Lei Xing, who smiled at her and gave her a thumbs up and Li Ru happily smiled in response.1

When the Emperor did not say anything, Lei Xing slightly knit her brows and turned to him. The Emperor smiled at her, happy she was finally looking his way, only to see her frown with her eyes motioning towards Li Ru. He blinked and raised an eyebrow in confusion, but quickly figured out that she wanted him to give some praise to Li Ru.

"Very good." He commented and then got up to leave and they all got up as well to bid him farewell. He enjoyed sitting with Lei Xing, even when they were not talking or doing anything but someone else being there, namely another one of his wives really ruined the mood. Lei Xing did not even allow him to simply hold her hand much less look his way. He glanced at Li Ru feeling a bit disgruntled, then looked at Lei Xing who was looking down and narrowed his eyes.

{...It seems she really likes this one...}

When the Emperor did not leave, Lei Xing glanced up at him with a somewhat disgruntled questioning expression. He then sighed with a smile and pat her head, "Don't stay outside too long." He advised and then got up and walked off. He was very happy she was well, but he liked it better returning to her palace to find her always waiting for him, it made him feel at ease and happy. But it was a bit unreasonable to expect her to only ever spend time with him. Also, she definitely would not like that. 

The Emperor sighed, then he perked up remembering that she was now perfectly healthy. So they could finally continue from where they left off many nights ago. It has really been a test of his patience simply going to sleep with just holding her all these days. Today, the head physician finally informed him of her clean bill of health.

Also, he was not sure if it was just his eyes, but she has been looking even more ravishing recently which has been making it harder for him. Although, she always made sure to stop his advances and remind him she was ill so he had no choice but to resign himself in order not to upset her. But now she was finally well again and he no longer had to wait. 

The Emperor smiled to himself and happily returned to her palace, to get his work done while he waited for her to return. Eunuch Li looked at the smiling Emperor and broke out into a grin himself, he had never seen the Emperor looking as happy as he did over the past few weeks.

{...She is really good for him...It's good to finally see him so happy again....}

Lei Xing let out a long sigh as she watched the Emperor leave.

{...What exactly did he come here for? -_-)...}

"Is everything okay between you and the Emperor?" Li Ru asked after hearing Lei Xing's sigh.

Lei Xing blinked, nervously smiled and said, "It's fine...Let's continue." She quickly sat back down and looked at Li Ru, seemingly eager to continue the lesson. Li Ru looked at her a bit worried but complied and they continued.

When it was starting to get dark, Li Ru ended the lesson to Lei Xing's dismay. Since the Emperor left Lei Xing had been behaving weirdly, she seemed distracted and bothered by something. Li Ru asked, but she said she was fine. Then there was the fact that Lei Xing seemed reluctant to end the lesson when she was the one who always ended it. 

What was even weirder was that Lei Xing followed her to her palace, ate dinner there, and was now roaming around her study scrutinizing her embroidery and art pieces.

"Is the Emperor not good to you?" Li Ru finally asked after holding it in all evening. It was now completely dark outside and Lei Xing showed no signs of wanting to leave. She liked having her here but it was definitely abnormal for Lei Xing to be wandering here instead of returning.

Lei Xing turned around and knit her brows, "What?"

"Well, it seems like you don't want to return to your palace...and the only reason I can think of is that you're avoiding the Emperor...Since the Emperor came you have been distracted and behaving oddly and now you're here. Did you have a fight? Does he not treat you well?" 

When Lei Xing just blankly stared at her, Li Ru looked down and quickly explained herself, "I like having you here...It's just...I'm worried about you...I know it's not like I can do anything if he doesn't treat you well...I just thought...it would be helpful to, maybe talk about it." She said that last line in a very small voice.

Lei Xing sighed and went to sit down. It was true that she was stalling here. She had heard about the rumors and what the Emperor did and was grateful for his help but...She understood why he did it that way but felt he was being unnecessarily too nice about everything and it made her feel somewhat uncomfortable. She really did not know what to do about him. He was odd. 

What's more, the way the Emperor has been looking at her the last few days has been a bit...not to mention he had been a bit too touchy recently. She could not understand herself either, she had concluded to get it over with so he could move on...but she felt upset whenever she thought about that for some reason.

 Lei Xing sighed and begrudgingly admitted, "He treats me well." 

{...A little too well actually...It's annoying...}

"That's very good then...So why are you unhappy?" 

Lei Xing looked at Li Ru's concerned expression and frowned, "Don't you care?"

Li Ru raised her eyebrows, "Care about?"

"The Emperor." Lei Xing bluntly responded.

Li Ru blinked then sighed and looked down, "...It's enough for me to live well...Romance isn't really for me..."

Lei Xing scrutinized her face and then narrowed her eyes, "Do you have someone you like?"

"What?" Li Ru jumped and rapidly blinked at Lei Xing, then she looked down and mumbled, "I don't."

 Lei Xing looked at her reddened face and laughed, "You're a very bad liar."

Li Ru knit her brows and did not respond. Lei Xing smiled and then nudged her, "Who's the lucky guy?... Or girl? I'm open to all." Lei Xing jokingly finished.

Li Ru looked up at her flustered and protested, "I-I don't!"

"You said it would be helpful to talk...but you don't even want to talk, yet you want me to talk..." Lei Xing grumbled.

Li Ru bit her lip and glanced at Lei Xing's downtrodden face then said, "Fine..."

Lei Xing smiled at her and Li Ru sighed and quietly said, "I may have liked someone before...but it doesn't matter."

"Good looking?" Lei Xing asked. Li Ru glanced at her, blushed and nodded.

"Why didn't you run away with him like your sister then? Not that I advocate for eloping...but considering everything it definitely would have been better, right?"

Li Ru glanced at Lei Xing and then shook her head, "It's impossible."

Lei Xing looked at her then sighed and rested her head on her hand.

{...Life is really not easy...}

They sat quietly for a while, each with their own thoughts, then Li Ru suddenly asked, "What about you? You like the Emperor, don't you?"

Lei Xing looked up at her wide-eyed with an appalled expression, "Why the hel- What?"

Li Ru blinked, "You don't?... I thought you did."

Lei Xing blinked a few times, still flabbergasted asked, "What gave you that impression?"

"Oh...Well, you seemed happier the last few days despite the fact that you were ill...so I thought..."

Lei Xing knit her brows.

{...Happy? Who was happy?!... Nothing wrong with being happy, but can't a person just be happy to-...to be ALIVE?...} 

Before Lei Xing could enlighten her, the doors opened and Xiao Ruo happily trotted in and informed, "Your highness, the Emperor has asked for you to return. The night is very cold and he doesn't want you to get sick again so he sent me here to get you."

Lei Xing looked down and pouted and did not respond.

"It's really quite late, you should hurry back to rest." Li Ru advised, trying to persuade her to leave before she caused herself trouble with the Emperor.

Lei Xing looked at her and then disgruntedly grumbled then got up, "Fine, I'll let you sleep." Li Ru snorted, thinking that a disgruntled Lei Xing was quite adorable. Although she knew not to say that out loud, Lei Xing did not take well to such terms of endearment and had expressed as much to her before.

 Xiao Ruo draped Lei Xing's cloak over her shoulder as she happily whispered to her that the Emperor specifically asked her to bring it, which caused Lei Xing to frown. 

Li Ru then came up to her and patted her back, smiled and advised, "If he's good to you, then you also should not be too difficult." 

Lei Xing frowned at her and then grumbled good night and left. Li Ru watched her leave and then sighed. She knew Lei Xing did not want to be in the palace, but since she was already here, was it not better for her to accept her fate? 

Li Ru sighed again and went out of the room, looked up at the moon and sighed.

{...Living well is already good enough....Ah, the moon is quite beautiful tonight...}

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