978: Are You Okay?

Are You Okay?

A woman wearing a white dress entered the cemetery gate. A simple cotton white dress long up to her knees, round neckline, three fourth sleeves made her look simple and elegant. Her hair tied in a bun with loose strands of hair on either side of the face moved along the breeze.  2

The neck had the simple chain and the pendant that she always had with her as a precious person's memory. 

The right hand's wrist had a bracelet that was a gift to her from that person for carrying the sign of their love inside her, indicating the bond between a mother and a child. 

Walking in a daze as if she couldn't see or hear anything, and the only thing she was concerned with was to go to that person, she finally reached Lu Qiang's grave.

Standing in front of the grave, she stared at Lu Qiang's name that was written on the tombstone, "How Have you been? Did you miss me?"

Lu Lijun, who was sitting with his eyes closed, heard someone talking and realized whose voice it was. He stayed silent, not to disturb the person. 

There was no reply to Jiang Yuyan's question in that silent place, and she said, "I know I'm asking a silly question. How can you not miss me?"

She kneeled to sit in front of the grave and picked up the leaves fallen on the grave from the trees as she said, "I missed you too. I do with every passing moment." 

Her eyes turned moist, but she tried to smile as she continued to pick up the tiny leaves from the grave to clear them out. 

Just as she was about to put a flower bouquet on the grave, she noticed one bouquet already placed there. Jiang Yuyan looked around to see who was there, but there was no one. She thought the person must have left as she couldn't see anyone. 

She put a bigger size bouquet on the grave first and then put the smaller one beside it and talked while touching the flowers in that small bouquet, "I hope you feel safe here." 

She pulled out the tiny soft toy from the small shopping bag and put it beside the smaller bouquet, "For you." 

She then touched the bracelet in her hand, "You are with me here." Her voice turned heavy, and the tears which she held back rolled down finally. 

"If not for that accident, you would have been with us today. I'm sorry for not being able to protect you."

She continued crying despite all her efforts of not doing so. The pain she felt at that time in the past was still fresh in her heart and mind that she could never forget even the eternity passed by.

Lu Lijun listened to each word she said, but he thought she was just talking to his brother. He felt sad for her and remembered those days in the past when they cried together over losing his brother. 

He could imagine if it still hurt him that much, then how she must have bear all the pain.

There was a silence again as Jiang Yuyan was crying, and Lu Lijun could hear the soft sound of sobs in between. He knew she was crying and felt like going to her, but he didn't.

It was the time she wanted to be his brother and express her pain, and he didn't wish to meddle in it. Though she was the one who cried, it hurt him more as if he could see anything but her crying.

In a while, Jiang Yuyan stopped crying and wiped her tears.

"I'm doing good, and everyone in the family is fine too. Lu Lijun is working hard... Lian is doing what she dreamed of... Grandma was not well, but these days she is doing good... Everyone is back in the family-like before but...only you are not there." 

Her voice turned heavy and choked again. Calming herself down, she smiled as the most important thing she was yet to tell him. 

"You will be happy to know that you will be an uncle soon. Lu Bao is pregnant. She is happy, and so we all are…." 

Jiang Yuyan continued to update Lu Qiang about everyone in the family, and Lu Lijun continued to listen to her.

Some time passed by when no one talked and it was dead silence again. Lu Lijun was still sitting there, hoping to hear something from her, but she didn't talk. 

Just as he was about to get up to check if she was gone, Jiang Yuyna was there and both looked at each other in surprise.

Jiang Yuyan thought to spend some more time there and breathe the same air where Lu Qiang was and stood up to go towards the tree, knowing there was a bench to sit on. 

Just like Lu Lijun, she wished to sit there while remembering her memories with Lu Qiang but when she reached there, someone was already sitting on the bench under the tree. 

Both didn't know what to say as it was clear Lu Lijun heard her talking to Lu Qiang. Though it felt surprising and awkward, both didn't show it. 

Lu Lijun, who sat in the center of that bench, shifted to one side, making space for another person to sit. 

Jiang Yuyan stepped ahead and sat on the other corner of the bench, leaving space between both of them where one more person could sit.

Not knowing what to talk about as the only thing they had in mind was Lu Qiang and memories with him, both stayed silent, looking ahead at a distance. 

In a while, finally, Lu Lijun broke the silence, "Are you okay?" He himself didn't know why he asked it.

This question brought Jiang Yuyan back to reality from her world with Lu Qiang.

"Hmm," she nodded and asked, "You?"

"Hmm," he nodded, indicating he was fine.

There was nothing to talk about, and both had spent a long time in the cemetery while sitting silently. 

Jiang Yuyan stood up, "I'll take a leave."

Lu Lijun nodded. Jiang Yuyan stepped ahead to leave but stopped and turned to look at Lu Lijun. 

He looked at her questioningly to know why she stopped. 

"Are you not leaving?" she asked.

Lu Lijun stood up, "I am."

Jiang Yuyan turned around and went back to Lu Qiang's grave and spoke in her soft and calm voice, "I'm leaving now, but I'll be back soon. Take care." 

She turned to leave while Lu Lijun stopped there, "Goodbye, elder brother." 

His sight followed the bouquet kept on the grave. There were two more bouquets next to the one he brought, but the thing that caught his attention was the small bouquet kept in between two bigger ones with the tiny soft toy. 

He didn't think much and turned to leave after bowing to his brother.

Jiang Yuyan walked ahead with her slow footsteps, immersed in her own world. 

Lu Lijun followed that aloof petite figure by matching his steps with her slow ones as he tucked his hands in his pants pocket and his sight trying to get hold of her. 

Though she was close, seemed so distant to him but at this moment and on this day, he didn't wish to think about anything. 

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