640: Right Or Wrong

Right Or Wrong

Song Xin'ai's mood was already complex but after this discussion with Raelle, she was even feeling depressed. She wanted this daughter to yell at her, blame her, and do at least something to make her feel less guilty but she did nothing. Nothing at all.1

And it's because that Raelle was so sensible and rational that she ended up feeling like the fire of guilt within her was turning into an inferno. And this inferno was gonna consume her soul. 

"Even if you don't need it, I would still like to say sorry to you," said Song Xin'ai with much difficulty. "As a mother, it was my job to protect you and I didn't do my job. I'm sorry for not being able to give you a complete family."

"I already have a family," told Raelle matter-of-factly. "You're just not a part of it. But I do have a family. And I believe it is a complete one as well. Because I get to decide the definition of a complete family in my life and to me, I really do have a complete family. Who said you can't have a happy family without parents?" She took a pause and added, "I never needed people to tell me what is right and what is wrong with the way I look at the world and the people around me. I know already my definition of most things doesn't align well with the definitions that have become a norm."

"I have plenty of regrets in my life but you aren't one of them," said Song Xin'ai. "I'm sorry but if I was given the same chance again, I might make the same choice once again. Because I still think that was the right thing to do."

"Xin'ai!" Xiang Hulin called her out with a warning tone.

However, Raelle didn't pay attention to that, she looked at Xiang Hulin and asked, "What about you, General? Do you think what she did was wrong?"

Xiang Hulin was momentarily stunned at how her attention was now focused on her. He had been the silent onlooker all this while but now, he was pulled into the discussion all of a sudden and he didn't know how to react. Did he mention that just the way his daughter looked at him was making him feel unnerved? So strange! He was a General! How could he feel this way?

There wasn't even any intimidation in her eyes. But perhaps, it was that nothingness in her eyes that was so unnerving. 

He really couldn't hold her gaze any longer and avoided her eyes as he answered, "Yes. I think she was wrong. No, I don't just think so. She was wrong!"

  "So, you'd rather have her choose to give up on the lives of millions than give up on the life of her daughter?" asked Raelle in return which shocked him to his core. "It's easier to say that one is right and the other is wrong. But can you please enlighten me on what is exactly what your definition of right and wrong? And who is decided who is right and who is wrong? Maybe what is right to you is wrong to many. It's just how the world is. I've studied human psychology for far too long to understand one thing, there is no such thing as right and wrong. You can't possibly find a clear distinction between the two. Because there is really no clear distinction at all." 

She was still as calm as ever as she continued, "Today, you say she was wrong for giving up on me. But if back then, she would have chosen me over the lives of millions, you'd also be among the people to say that she was wrong for choosing her personal feelings over her responsibility and loyalty towards her country and its people. So, in the end, no matter what she did, she was bound to be wrong to someone."

Song Xin'ai felt her eyes burning. This was the very first time, some time was acknowledging her and her defending her choices. But the fact that the person who was doing it was exactly the one who had the right to condemn her only made it difficult for her to breathe. She felt so stifled right now.

"General, having the patriotic blood running through your veins, can you say it honestly that you'd choose your child over your country?" 

Xiang Hulin pressed his lips together and said nothing. He had no answer to that question. Not at all. How could he answer it? As she just mentioned, patriotism was in his blood. He was raised that way. From a young age, he listened to all the legends of his family. He knew the heroes he looked up to were real and were also people who shared the same blood as him. He felt pride in that. 

Even when all his family for generations didn't hesitate giving up their lives and everything for the country, who was he? Could he really be selfish enough to choose his family over his country? He... had no answer. Or perhaps he did but he just couldn't bring himself to say it.

"You both are very funny people," said Raelle casually. "You want to draw a clear line between right and wrong and yet here you are... You both don't even know where you went wrong."

Listening to her talk was like getting your heart prickled with needles. Every single word she said would poke right where it hurt. There was nothing wrong with her words but somehow they really hurt the two people who were listening to her. They both had a complicated feeling swirling in their hearts. And they both didn't know how or what to say to her.

Was there really a right way to interact with her?

Even if she was their daughter, she was so difficult to understand. Even with their years of experience, they couldn't see through her at all. 

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