756: What Could have Been Part I

What Could have Been Part I

1Berengar fell back onto his bed with a radiant smile on his face. Lying by his side were two naked women. One was his younger sister, Henrietta, and the other was his cousin Adela. The three of them had just enjoyed some quality time together right before going to bed.2

For the past few weeks Adela and Henrietta had been coming to Berengar's bedroom whenever they had a chance, where they drained him dry together. It was a brave new world, and Adela had grown rather close to her younger cousin Henrietta after undergoing Linde's special training. 

Berengar's life at home was filled with hedonistic pleasure as he drank, smoked, and slept with five different women every day. Sometimes the girls would approach him together, at other times they were separate, however most commonly they came at him in pairs. No matter what happened, every night he would feel the warm embrace of at least one beautiful woman by his side. Thus, as his mind entered the darkness, he kissed his two little minxes on the forehead before telling them goodnight.

"Good night, my beautiful girls. I love you both..."

The two women smiled and nuzzled their heads into Berengar's chest as they repeated the words back to him.

"We love you too."

After hearing this, Berengar drifted into sleep. Where, for the first time in a long time, he was thrust into the memories of his past life. As if he was sucked into another world, Berengar internally panicked as he looked around him and realized that he was standing in the rank and file of his class graduation.

In the crowd that had gathered to watch the cadets as they officially entered active duty was another cadet, a young Japanese beauty who smiled and clapped her hands as she gazed upon the man she was secretly in love with while he received his diploma. 

Of course, in his past life, Julian had not noticed this affectionate gaze. However, standing here, witnessing this scene once more, Berengar could see very clearly that his old acquaintance Mizuno Ai had feelings for him, which instantly caused his brain to shut down in shock. He simply stood there in disbelief as he tried to work through what was happening to him. This was clearly just a dream, but it was so vivid. It was as if he was relieving the moment with his current memories intact. 

He was standing there on stage with a diploma in his hands, but he did not hear a single word that was spoken to him. All he could do was stare back at Ai in disbelief, muttering under his breath his current thoughts.

"Ai had feelings for me? No... that can't be, could it? I have to find out the truth!"

Berengar did not know if this dream would allow him to hear the truth, or if it was simply a work of his mind filling in the gaps, but he had to know the truth. He had spent three out of four of his college years with the woman pestering him. If it was true that she secretly had feelings for him, then he just had to find out.

Thus, after waiting for the ceremony to end, he quickly found Ai in the crowd and darted towards her, completely ignoring his parents, who tried to speak with him before anyone else. It shocked Ai to see Julian greet her first, but she quickly hugged him before congratulating him on getting his diploma. 

"Congratulations! I know you have been working hard for this these past three years, and I'm really happy for you. I can't wait until my own graduation next year!"

In his past life, Julian never spoke with Ai at this moment. His parents had monopolized his entire graduation day, he was never been able to hear these words. It was amazing that despite knowing this was a dream; it appeared as if he was given a second chance. He felt intense anxiety in his heart as he gazed upon the woman who was the closest thing to a friend he had in his past life for the first time in close to ten years. Ai could see the troubled look on his face, and immediately pressed her hand against his forehead, checking for a fever while interrogating him with a hint of worry in her voice. 

"What's wrong? Are you sick?"

Julian could feel the warmth of the woman's hand. He could hardly believe it, it felt as if this was reality. Yet that was not possible. It had to be a dream. It took him a few moments to react to the girl's question before responding. 

"No, Ai, I'm fine, really I am. I'm just a little overwhelmed, is all."

Ai giggled when she heard this before responding to Julian's claim.

"There's a lot of people here, huh? Don't worry, I know you're bad with crowds, so it's not surprising to see you having some difficulty. However, I think you looked great out there!"

Julian chuckled as he heard this before awkwardly shifting the conversation in another direction.

"Hey, Ai, there is something I wanted to ask you. This might sound a little bit crazy, but just bear with me for a moment. Do you, by any chance, have feelings for me?"

These words struggled to register in Ai's brain as she blushed as red as a strawberry. She could not find the words to express her feelings in that moment, and faltered backwords in astonishment. This reaction instantly surprised Julian, causing him to respond in disbelief.

"Holy shit, you do! How long have you felt this way?"

It took Ai a few moments to come back to reality as she struggled to believe that this dense idiot had finally realized the truth. She stumbled over her words as she admitted just how long she had felt this way.

"Um... Well, thinking back, I've liked you ever since my freshman year... I'm sorry... how exactly did you finally realize it? I thought you were as dense as diamonds..."

Julian reached out and grabbed hold of the woman's cheek, which startled her. It felt so real, he could hardly believe it. He felt as if his heart was about to collapse into a black hole as it took him two lives to finally understand this truth. Tears streamed down his eyes as he lamented what a colossal fuckup he was in this life, causing him to sniffle as he deflected the girl's question with a vague statement.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you... I'm sorry, I just, I never knew..."

Seeing the tears in Julian's eyes caused Ai to cry on her own. It had taken her three years, but she had finally gotten through that thick head of his. She grabbed hold of his hands and reassured him that everything was going to be alright.

"It's okay, so it took you three years to notice my feelings. That doesn't matter, we have so much to look forward to now. You feel the same way, don't you? We can finally be together!"

Julian faltered backwards as he heard these words. If his heart could physically burst, it would have done so at this moment. He could only shake his head as the tears crashed down around him. The act caught the girl off guard, who thought for sure this was their defining moment as a couple. Julian could only say how sorry he was over and over again, as he could not think of anything else to say.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, I'm really sorry Ai... If only I had realized this sooner, but it is too late..."

Ai felt her heart break in that moment as she assertively grasped hold of Julian's hands, and looked him in the eyes. After all these years, he found out the truth and rejected her. What kind of cruel fate was this? She could not help but question his sanity as she heard this.

"What do you mean, it's too late? We're here right now. We finally have a chance to be together, and you're just going to walk away?"

Julian wiped the tears from his eyes and wore a grim expression. It was as if his heart had already decayed and no longer existed, not even as a corpse. The tears had run dry as he uttered the words in his mind.

"I'm sorry Ai, I really am. If I had known sooner, we could have been together, but I'm already dead, and this is just a dream to remind me of what I have lost... I'm sorry, I wish we could have been together... I really do..."

After saying this, Julian walked away, drifting lifelessly over towards his parents, who were waiting for him, leaving the only girl who ever liked him in this life heartbroken and in tears. Berengar awoke from the dream in that moment and stared into the morning light with tears in his eyes. He wished he had never had that dream. Now that he knew the truth, it would weigh in his heart for the rest of his life. 

Thus, he gazed over at the two sleeping beauties next to him and sighed heavily before pulling out a bottle of whiskey that he kept in a nearby drawer. He gazed at the half drunken contents of the bottle for a few moments in silence before taking a large swig. There was nothing he could do about the past. He could only live this life to the fullest, from now on. 

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