428: Giving Herself A Chance

Giving Herself A Chance

The sun was about to hide behind the small mountain.

It was soon going to get dark. It had almost been half an hour since they had been standing here and Mo Roulan had said nothing to him.

Many times, Cheng Yang decided to open his mouth and ask her what actually she wanted to talk about but then at the last moment, his courage would suddenly vanish.

He was afraid that it was not what he was expecting from her. He was afraid that what she actually wanted to say to him was a 'no'.

So he thought that he better cherish these few peaceful moments with her if it was indeed the matter. However, his heart was still full of anticipation and fear when Mo Roulan suddenly turned to look in his direction completely.

"Cheng Yang"

Hiding all of his emotions under a calm and composed face, Cheng Yang also looked at her as he heard her continuing.

"I thought about whatever you said last night and …I came to conclude that I …I don't have any feelings for you."

He knew it already. He knew that Mo Roulan didn't have that kind of feelings for him. He could clearly see it. 

Though Cheng Yang had already expected it, it still hurt him more than he had thought.

In fact, the words seem to stab him like a knife repeatedly. 

Cheng Yang lowered his head. It was stupid of him perhaps he felt like crying. He clenched his fists as he repeated inside his mind again and again that he would look so immature if he cried right now.

At this moment, he wanted nothing but to leave and comfort his heart.

Though he had thought that he would be able to handle himself even if Mo Roulan said no to him, he couldn't.

Cheng Yang breathed deeply and finally raised his head. He didn't know but his eyes were red and Mo Roulan could see it.

She was startled when she saw this.

"It's alright. I can understand. I should drop you at your apartment now. Let's go."

Cheng Yang forced a smile on his lips and turned around to leave. Mo Roulan blinked her eyelashes as she looked at his back.

Her heart melted on seeing how he was pretending to look strong. It was obvious that he was hurt by her words.

She licked her lips and called out to him immediately. 

"Cheng Yang, wait. You didn't hear me completely."

What else was there to say! Cheng Yang didn't know but a moment later, a new fear emerged inside his heart.

He was afraid that Mo Roulan would tell him that because of his feelings for her, they should never see each other again in the future.

No, he doesn't wish to hear such a thing from her.

Cheng Yang swiftly turned around and said

"Mo Roulan, I can promise you that my feelings would never create any confusion in our friendship."

Mo Roulan frowned in confusion.

"But I…."

She couldn't complete her words as she heard Cheng Yang speaking again.

"It is my fault. I should have never confessed."

Cheng Yang paced across his car while Mo Roulan blinked again at his words. She saw how he raked his hands through his hair and then said

"Now, I will lose even my friendship with you."

Mo Roulan felt warmness inside her heart. She could feel how anxious Cheng Yang was at the thought of losing this friendship. It was clear that he cherished this friendship with her. 

The little bit of hesitation she had inside her heart before suddenly vanished and Mo Roulan said very confidently this time. 

"Cheng Yang. I want to try it out."

Cheng Yang paused amidst his steps suddenly.

He raised his head slowly to look in Mo Roulan's direction but his red eyes were full of confusion this time.

"I…what …I didn't get you."

In fact, he heard what Mo Roulan said but he didn't know whether she really meant what he thought she meant to say.

Mo Roulan licked her lips again never noticing how Cheng Yang suddenly looked away from her. However, he couldn't help but look at her again when he heard her say.

"I don't have any feelings for you yet but I want to try it out with you once. I want to see if it will work or not."

Cheng Yang couldn't believe his ears for a moment. 

On the other hand, Mo Roulan felt very nervous. She wondered whether she was being selfish. She really wanted to try it out with Cheng Yang but it was her selfishness that was making her do so.

After so many instances of seeing how she still felt whenever she would see Shen Yiling around He Jian, she understood that she still had something inside her heart for him.

But she didn't want it to be like this always.

She didn't want to go through that hurt all over again so Mo Roulan thought that perhaps Cheng Yang could help her.

Perhaps he would make her forget He Jian and she would finally be able to give her heart to some other man forgetting the one who would never be hers.

But now….Mo Roulan swallowed as she looked at Cheng Yang who had not said anything still now and had been looking at her silently.

She thought that he didn't like her proposal so she decided to take back her words.

"It's alright if you don't wish to. I just…I am really sorry."

Mo Roulan lowered her head as she said her last few words with a sigh that expressed her disappointment in herself. However, she was startled when suddenly a pair of arms engulfed her in a tight hug.

It was Cheng Yang who was hugging her.

Her eyes went wide because she could feel how fast his heart was beating.

"Cheng Yang…"

She whispered his name unconsciously. However, she couldn't say anything else when she heard him say.

"Thank you. Roulan, thank you so much." 

Mo Roulan pushed Cheng Yang's chest to look at his face.

"Why are you thanking me?"

She couldn't help but ask him. Cheng Yang's eyes were moist slightly but he couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped from his mouth.

"Well…I am happy that you want to try it out with me at least."

Mo Roulan was startled to hear this. But then she tried to put herself in Cheng Yang's shoe. Indeed, she would have been happy if He Jian had at least tried to try it out with her in her past life.1

At the same time, when she realized that she was again thinking about the past and her feelings for him, she breathed deeply to forget all of it. 

Cheng Yang cupped Mo Roulan's face between his palms. There was a firmness in his eyes as he told Mo Roulan.

"I promise you that you won't ever regret it."

I also hope so, Cheng Yang.

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