298: B2.1 Nothing Breaks Like My Heart

B2.1 Nothing Breaks Like My Heart

Long Shen was sitting in his van while his manager discussed his role in this new movie outside with the director. He was sitting dazedly, staring blankly at himself in the wide mirror in front of him. Long Shen was an impeccably handsome man even without makeup. All his makeup was done to accentuate his facial features even more.2

Long Shen chuckled when he saw his face again. This had been the 41st rewind. At this point, he might go crazy over this.

He had tried to kill himself over and over in many ways just to return back to that world and meet James Grind again. At first, he was afraid of the pain of death. But after more than 40 attempts, all those deaths meant nothing compared to the pain in his heart.

He was in so much pain because he couldn't return to that time when he was a mafia overlord named Long Zhen, with a lover named James Grind.

A lover that he loved so much, yet he hurt so much.

"You are scum, Long Shen. You are a dirty scum who cheated on him many times, just because you feel like it. You despicable scum," Long Shen said to himself while staring at the mirror.

Long Shen still remembered James Grind's last smile before he left the world for real. It was a loving smile yet full of sadness. Because Long Shen only brought sadness to James Grind. Maybe if Long Shen never came to James Grind's life, nothing would go wrong for him.

Long Shen didn't care if he could just stare at James Grind from far away, as long as he could see him living and breathing again. If James Grind wanted to be with Huang Shu, then so be it. As long as he was alive.

But the last thing Long Shen saw was a dead James Grind with a smile on his face, and it was all his fault.

Long Shen gritted his teeth and took a scissor from the drawer. The scissor was sharp and would definitely kill him if he aimed at his heart. Long Shen pulled his shirt up to show a beautifully sculpted body of his in the mirror.

A body that every man wanted, but for Long Shen, it was fake.

Everything he experienced right now was fake. Because he would rewind time over and over no matter how much he tried.

"This body should have a lot of scars, a lot of wounds…" Long Shen pointed at his clean chest who should have been ruptured when he crashed himself on the highway. His heart should be pierced when he stabbed himself. His gut should be out because he jumped on a train.

He tried everything and regretted none of it.

Because this life was not the thing, he wanted.

He wanted to return back to that world and live with James Grind. No matter how he must do it!

Long Shen pointed the scissor at his heart. He wanted to do the 42nd death and wished this time he would return to that world again. And even if he failed again, he was ready to do the 43rd death.

"No matter how many times I have to do it, I will never give up. I will meet you again, Jamie… my Jamie…"

Long Shen stabbed himself with a scissor and gritted his teeth to hold the pain, so he wouldn't make suspicious noise while he was dying. The pain made Long Shen fell to the ground. He started to lose consciousness slowly with a smile on his face.

'Jamie… is this the same pain that you felt when you got shot? Will you forgive me now? I really want to meet you again… just once, okay?'

            …

            …

            ***

Yunyu and Pupa jumped to this new world that was supposed to be the second backup world or Ragemeter world he visited after the twins' world. Yunyu looked around and saw that he was in a small apartment typical for a young worker who graduated university and worked a minimum wage.

Pupa checked the condition of their transmigration and said to dazed Yunyu, "We are in a world very similar to your original world. Long Shen is also very similar to Han Ye in your world, but Long Shen is more of a romance actor while Han Ye is an action actor, right?"

"Ah… yes! My male god Han Ye is an action actor! He always plays as the main character or secondary main character! He is always the show stealer of any movie he was staring in! My male god is the best, kyaah!"

"… I'm just informing you, why are you going on full fanboy on me," Pupa said.

"Sorry, it's like an automated answer whenever someone talks about Han Ye," Yunyu replied nonchalantly. He looked around and asked, "What is my identity right now?"

"Hm…" Pupa downloaded more information and answered, "You are Tian Dong, a newly appointed assistant manager of Long Shen. You are a fresh graduate, and this is your first job. Go prepare yourself because he will meet Long Shen soon."

"Wait, how many times have Long Shen died and rewind time?" Yunyu asked.

"… 43 times. Go meet him before he killed himself again for the 44th try," Pupa informed.

Yunyu hurriedly took out his phone when there was a vibration. He got a message from Long Shen's manager, Shen Yaunjun or Aunty Yuanjun.

*Tian Dong, where are you? We will shoot a scene of Long Shen's new movie, Nothing Breaks Like My Heart. Come here soon!*

Aunty Yuanjun shared her location for Yunyu. It was actually not so far from his place, should be reachable in thirty minutes by bus. Yunyu nodded and said, "Okay, Pupa, let's go and save Long Shen."

"Will you fall in love with him in the meantime?" Pupa asked.

"… I don't know, probably not. My petty soul says that he deserves this, and I should make him suffer more for cheating with me too much. But at the same time… I don't want him to be like this forever. He will go crazy…"

"He is already crazy like this, don't you think? He killed himself without hesitation 43 times," Pupa added.

"…"

            ***

Long Shen opened his eyes again and saw that he was sitting in his car with Aunty Yuanjun in the front seat with a driver. She was busy calling the director on the phone while she glanced at Long Shen.

'Failed again…' Long Shen thought he could finally return back to that world. But no, instead, he rewound the time to the moment where he was going to shoot a movie in his world. A movie about a heartbroken man who cheated on his girlfriend over and over until the girlfriend committed suicide. After her death, the girl returned in time, and the man was trying his best to get her forgiveness. Because after the girl's death, the man finally realized that he had lost someone that truly loved him.

In the end, the man committed suicide out of his grief and loneliness, and both of them got transported back in time to men their broken hearts together again.

"What kind of death should I do to meet you again, Jamie?"         

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