83: 3.23 Let Me Help You

3.23 Let Me Help You

Lu Yizhou was adamant on getting through his rut alone, despite everyone's protest. It took all of him to tear himself away from Oliver and his eyes almost grew red again from the desperation and anger that fueled his entire body, moreover when he clearly knew that the last thing Oliver wanted to do was to leave him alone. After knowing that these weird, overstimulating feelings were due to his physical condition, Lu Yizhou's mental state improved a tad better. He could reign himself in harder as long as he convinced himself that the feelings came not from himself but from Altair's body and instinct. It was excruciatingly difficult but the medication helped somehow. Gradually, Lu Yizhou found himself no longer yearning for Oliver's presence to the point where his whole body ached but in exchange… sleep had eluded him every night, again.  1

The atmosphere between the two had turned a bit awkward with Lu Yizhou's blatant effort of distancing himself. They lived in the same house and Lu Yizhou could literally see him if he took two steps out of his room—and before this, they had also slept together (innocently) in his bed a few times—and he was painfully aware of Oliver's presence, smelled his worry and concern and knew that all Lu Yizhou had to do was to ask. Just one sentence and Oliver would definitely agree.

But no. He couldn't bring himself to.

Lu Yizhou was going through another nightmare. This time it was no longer the distant memory of his past which wasn't worth mentioning but he dreamt of Theodore. Theodore of the previous world who came seeking for him even when he had hid himself away, who didn't shy away from him even when his appearance was closer to that of a monster, who kissed his forehead softly and hugged him without an ounce of fear. It was as heartrending as it was beautiful...but in the end, all of it resulted in the sword that stabbed right through his chest, the blood trickling down his lips and the disbelief in his eyes. And then the image suddenly shifted and they were no longer in the old mansion. The scenery couldn't be more familiar. It was Altair's room, the bed which Lu Yizhou was laying on. And he wasn't alone. Underneath him laid a bloodied corpse. Oliver, staring up at him with blank, lifeless eyes which still held the remnants of fear and horror. His body was marred with numerous claw marks, fresh blood seeping into the blanket underneath and his lower body was deeply mangled. 

It was Lu Yizhou. It was him who had caused the omega's death. 

Lu Yizhou's eyes flew open and he let out a sharp gasp, sitting up and rubbing his face roughly. His heart was beating furiously inside his chest and there was a constant nausea churning his stomach. His head also throbbed in pain. 

Darkness enveloped the room, the curtain was drawn and the only source of light came from the fluorescent lights on the corner of the ceilings. It took Lu Yizhou a while to regain his senses and when he did, only then did he realize that his hands were trembling slightly. He couldn't resist the snort, mocking and bitter. Throughout his life, he had witnessed not less than hundred, thousands of deaths so why…why did the prospect of Oliver's death shake him so deeply? He couldn't bring himself to stay even a second longer in this room, not when the source of his nightmare originated here.

Lu Yizhou soundlessly stepped out of his room, his gaze pausing when they landed on the opposite room. If he focused his hearing, he would be able to hear the omega's soft breathing and rhythmic heartbeat which would undeniably calm the restlessness he felt. But no, he strode past the door, firmly suppressing the struggle and want of his instinct.

The cold air was soothing, at least it managed to dry Lu Yizhou's sweat and allow him to take a deep breath. 

[666: Host, are you okay?]

[Do I look like I'm okay?]

[666: Sheesh, you haven't been sleeping well bzzz...bzzz… for the past week. Why are you so stubborn? 666's heart aches seeing you like this. What do you want? Should 666 sing you a lullaby? Oh, this is the collection from '1001 Top Nursery Rhymes' in Admin God's library! 666 guarantees that Host bzzz...bzzz… will feel better afterward!]

Clearing its throat—Lu Yizhou was unsure, does the system need to clear their throat?—666 began to sing.

Twinkle twinkle little star

How I wonder what you are

Lu Yizhou blinked, amused to the point where he almost laughed. Almost. 

He wasn't unfamiliar with this routine; being awoken by nightmares deep into the night and spending the rest of the time outside for a breath of fresh air before he had to start another day. But then, never would he expect that he would one day receive such a companion to sing him a lullaby one would sing to babies and toddlers. An unusual, loud, annoying, mostly useless but cute nonetheless.

Up above the world so high

Like a diamond in the s—

A rustle sounded behind him and 666 choked on its words. Its chirpy voice abruptly disappeared and Lu Yizhou took back the compliment he gave the system a second ago. It clearly did it on purpose, not warning Lu Yizhou at all of the approaching presence. After Lu Yizhou cursed at it inside his mind, 666 instantly played dead and let its Host deal with his own predicament. Useless system, Lu Yizhou hissed.

"Altair...? Why are you here?" Oliver knew that the Alpha had sensed his presence thus he gingerly stepped out to the balcony, a cardigan wrapped loosely around his shoulders, still clad in comfy pajamas. His breath hitched in his throat at the sight of the Alpha under the moonlight. Sharp and ethereal. The dim light cast shadows upon his face and highlighted the silver pupils which stared straight at him. He gulped audibly and saw Lu Yizhou's eyes following the movement of his throat before he looked away. 

"Why aren't you sleeping?" Lu Yizhou returned the question. "Go back in. It's cold outside."

Oliver wasn't Oliver if he complied just like that. Bracing himself, he padded across the cold, wood tiles toward Lu Yizhou. He rested his palms on the balcony railing and stared out of the scenery. "Wow. It's so beautiful out here..." He said with a loud exhale. The house which was built on the higher altitude enabled Oliver to witness the spread of twinkling lights and glitters across the kingdom. It resembled an ocean of sparkling stars. Under the veil of night and the tranquil residential complex, it was as if only the two of them remained in the world. Oliver pulled up a smile in order to dilute his nervousness and turned to Lu Yizhou, gesturing. "Isn't it beautiful—" His words trailed off and the tension abruptly returned in full force.

Lu Yizhou was staring at him. Transfixed. There was something deep and intense swirling within those eyes that made Oliver's toes curl and his stomach flip. He took in a shaky breath, lashes fluttering. Gingerly, he reached out toward the Alpha's hand that was no more than a meter away. "Altair…" Alas, Lu Yizhou seemed to snap out of his senses with that one word. He broke eye contact and flinched away from Oliver's touch.

Hurt flickered across the omega's light brown eyes and it took Lu Yizhou his entire willpower not to smother him into a tight embrace and inhaled his scent crazily. He curled his fingers into a fist and pulled himself a few steps back. "You should go back to sleep."

Oliver chewed his lips and showed no intention of moving. His words came out softly, barely a whisper. "Must you avoid me like this?" Lu Yizhou whipped his head around after hearing the tremble in Oliver's voice and the air was knocked out of his lungs when he saw the faint layer of mist covering the omega's eyes. "Why do you keep pushing me away…?"

Lu Yizhou sucked in cold air and let it out slowly, slowly. His heart tightened inside his chest. "I can't…" He said hoarsely.

"Why can't you?" Oliver took a step forward and Lu Yizhou backed away. Again and again until Lu Yizhou bumped into the wall. Helplessness flashed across his face but Oliver pressed on. "Why can't you?"

"Oliver…" The warning was thick in his voice, dark and dangerous.

Oliver could almost feel the rumble from the Alpha's chest from their close distance. The wind blew, caressing the back of his neck and he shivered. By this time, he could no longer ascertain whether it was the wind or Lu Yizhou's voice working. He took in the turmoil and struggle in the Alpha's face and took the last step until their bodies were flushed against each other. He wrapped his arms around Lu Yizhou's waist and let go of the breath he was holding, his whole body melting under the other's warmth. "I miss you. Oh God, I know that I should distance myself from you but I can't." He placed his head on Lu Yizhou's chest, hearing the loud and thundering heartbeats thumping against his ears. "I know you haven't been sleeping well since we came back from the hospital. I—I'm very worried about you…" He lifted his head and stared up at Lu Yizhou with the most endearing and doe eyes he could muster. "Back then...when you held me, when you hid me behind your wings and bared your teeth at everyone who got close, I like it…" He took a deep breath and confessed. "I like it too much; you being all possessive and domineering. It makes me feel like I belong to you…"

Lu Yizhou's mind screeched to a halt. Their close proximity, Oliver's soft body against him, his gentle voice, his exquisite scent, the vulnerability in his voice… They sent tremors from his heart down to the pit of his stomach. Tension coiled around his navel and shudders ran down his spine. He bit his lips, groaning. "Don't."

Oliver's eyes widened by a fraction and he glanced down at the prominent bulge growing inside Lu Yizhou's pants. His cheeks promptly reddened like a tomato. Oliver parted his lips, throat turning dry as he reached out and palmed the erection. He felt the Alpha's body stiffen as he braced himself and started to stroke the length. It was maddeningly hot and God, massive in both length and girth. Oliver had been dying to do this ever since he saw the Alpha stroke himself when he was in heat. Anticipation and nervousness coursed through his veins. He couldn't help but imagine how it would feel to have it inside his body and just the mere idea aroused him so. Oliver licked his lips and threw all of the shame and inhibition out of the window.

Lu Yizhou held his shoulders but before he could push Oliver away, Oliver grabbed his wrist first and licked the pulse beneath his veins. "Let me help you…" He whispered audibly. Under Lu Yizhou's widening eyes, he slid down on his knees and his hand rested on the waistband of Lu Yizhou's trousers. "...to vent your frustration."

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