155: 4.20 Just One Night

4.20 Just One Night

Oh no.  0

No, this couldn't be happening.

Heimo screwed his eyes shut before opening them once again, yet the scene in front of him remained the same. The familiar silkiness under his cheek, the rhythmic breathing, the light blue garment… He cursed under his breath. He had, somehow, found his way into Jingxue-Jun's embrace again. The dejavu was too strong, it was practically a reenactment of this morning's event. The sun hadn't even made its round fully yet but here he was, pressed tightly against Jingxue-Jun's side with his arm swung casually across the man's torso. 

The memory came back to him abruptly as if wanting to push him further into misery. W—What were you thinking, Heimo?! The bed seemed like a fucking perfect place to sleep in?! Not only that, he had even shamelessly discarded his outer robes off?! Heimo ah, Heimo, since when did you become so promiscuous, casually climbing into another's bed?! He didn't even dare to lift his head, let alone moving away for fear that Jingxue-Jun—

Wait a moment, Jingxue-Jun, he… couldn't have been awake, right?

Dread crawled up Heimo's spine as he braced himself to look up and nothing in this world delighted him more than seeing Jingxue-Jun's eyes still shut, his sleeping face serene and peaceful. He looked so vulnerable and defenseless, sleeping beside Heimo with his lips slightly parted. Heimo let out a laugh and slowly untangled his limbs from Jingxue-Jun's body, propping himself up by elbow to drink in his visual. The orange glow of sunset poured in through the open window, scattering across the plane of Jingxue-Jun's features. Heimo stared, stared and stared, and his heart started to ache. It was a sweet kind of pain, one that was so sharp and fiery that he could feel it to the tip of his fingers. Why? Why was he feeling like this?

He clutched his chest and tried to hold his longing back, but it was to no avail.

The man was so beautiful that it hurt.

Seriously, how could someone be so gorgeous? 

Heimo shook his head and gingerly got off the bed — this time, he was relieved that he didn't need to cross Jingxue-Jun's body to do so. He gasped sharply when he caught sight of the messy clothing on the ground and also, the book Shijie gave him was there! With the speed of light, Heimo grabbed the robes and draped it around himself before tying the sash in a knot and shoved the book deeper into his chest. The series of movements was completed in less than ten seconds but still, his heart was hammering away in his ribcage and he had a sudden urge to ram his head to the nearest wall and thank the Gods at the same time for letting him wake earlier than Jingxue-Jun. Otherwise… Heimo shuddered. He couldn't have imagined what would have happened if Jingxue-Jun saw the book.

He would definitely know that Heimo was a demonic cultivator and then… what? The good rapport they had built up with each other would instantly crumble and they would become nemesis. There was also a great chance that Jingxue-Jun would kill him. Of course, he was Black Demon Weeping Blood. Every righteous cultivator in this world wished to have his head, and that included Jingxue-Jun, the man who made Heimo's heart throb in a different tune like it had come alive for the first time.

Heimo knew what he felt. He wasn't a child anymore and he had seen numerous paintings and books depicting explicit intercourse between men and women and also… men and men. He knew how it worked and he understood that what he was feeling for Jingxue-Jun was different from what he felt for others.

But exactly because he was aware that it became all the more reason for them to part ways.

Of all people, this was the man whom he couldn't have the most.

The idea caused his heart to sink and he spent a few minutes inhaling and exhaling, trying to press down the surge of guilt and bitterness in his chest. Heimo's galloping heartbeat gradually slowed and he turned around with a wistful sigh only to meet Jingxue-Jun's silver eyes staring back at him from God-knows-when. He let out an undignified squawk. "J—Jingxue-Jun?!" T—That man definitely did it on purpose, right?! Heimo's heart wouldn't last long if Jingxue-Jun kept surprising him like this! He tried to show an easy and bright smile. "A—Are you awake?"

"En." He sat up, his movement slow, almost sluggish so as to not aggravate the wound by his side which had barely dried. 

Heimo was still recovering from lingering fear and unfortunately, failed to notice that. If he did, he might also realize that Lu Yizhou was wearing a different robe than before. Same color, just a slightly different model. Lu Yizhou guessed he had to thank ancient people and their obsession with personal signature colors. He looked up at Heimo and asked even though he had clearly known the answer, simply because he wanted to fluster the man even more. "How did I end up here?"

"Oh, that…" Heimo recited the answer he had memorized by heart, a remorseful look on his face. There, perfect. He looked equally guilty and pitiful. Surely, Jingxue-Jun wouldn't bear to blame him, right? "My apologies, Jingxue-Jun. The herbal tea this humble one has prepared, it has the soothing effect that can make people drowsy. This humble one doesn't realize that it will work so well on you that you fell asleep almost as soon as you finished drinking. Jingxue-Jun must have a lot of pent up exhaustion!"

The man merely hummed, his expression was thoughtful as if he was seriously considering Heimo's answer.. "Is that so?"

Heimo's heart almost jumped out of his throat. Please, please, don't ask anymore. He felt as if he was being cut open under Jingxue-Jun's scrutinizing gaze. "That's right." Heimo grinned and swiftly changed the topic. "The sun has almost set. Jingxue-Jun has been sleeping for quite long. Do you, perhaps, want anything to eat?" 

As if responding to his inquiry, the loud sound of stomach gurgling resounded through the space. Jingxue-Jun's eyes lowered to follow the source of the sound — Heimo's stomach — and he cocked one brow. That miniscule expression spoke thousands of words.

On the other hand, Heimo had stilled as soon as his stomach began to growl, heat exploding from his face down to his entire body. Goodness… he wrenched his eyes shut. Could you stop embarrassing yourself for a second, Heimo?! It was only a few hours ago that he devoured a few steamed buns and two sticks of tanghulu right under Jingxue-Jun's nose. How could his stomach… How could he—ah! It was so humiliating! He trained his eyes to his feet, wishing that the ground could open up and swallow him whole. "My apologies. That—"

A pair of boots appeared in his line of sight followed by a hand. Heimo's eyes zeroed on the man's round fingernails, his calloused palm that Heimo knew would be so warm before he trailed his gaze to Jingxue-Jun's face. Despite his impassive expression, the man's eyes were smiling, mirthful and the lines of his mouth were soft. The air seemed to dissipate around Heimo and he couldn't breathe. 

"Let's go." The man said. "If I'm not wrong, the market will be open until night. I am famished."

Liar. Heimo huffed. Why was he so kind? Why was he so gentle? Why did he have to make everything all the more difficult? Heimo's eyes dropped to Jingxue-Jun's hand that was still held in front of him, waiting patiently. Take it, take it, Heimo, his heart clamored noisily, so loud that it overcame many logical arguments in his mind. It was as if Heimo could see the walls around him crumble to dust as he gingerly placed his hand there. 

As soon as he did, Jingxue-Jun closed his palm around him and their hands melded together into one like they were created for this sole purpose. As Heimo had expected, it was very warm. Everything about the man was warm and beautiful, he thought, heart hammering so fast inside his chest that it hurt.

He allowed himself to be pulled out of the bamboo hut to the bustling street, eyes transfixed on the man's broad back, the way his hair sway along with his every movement, the way he deliberately shortened his steps for Heimo, the way he tightened his hold everytime they passed through the crowd as if he was scared of losing Heimo…

Just this one night, he decided with a sudden conviction that sprung out of nowhere. Heimo would indulge in his wishes just for one night and let his heart do whatever it wanted. Until then, he wasn't the fearsome demonic cultivator, not the person who was loathed by the entire cultivation world, not Black Demon Weeping Blood.

He was merely Lan'er, an ordinary man who had fallen for Jingxue-Jun's charm.

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