355: 7.45 My Salvation

7.45 My Salvation

"Regret…?" Lu Yizhou's lips closed around the word as if he had never heard it before. "Me, regretting what we have done? " Lu Yizhou finally lifted his eyes to meet him and Moshe was stunned by the sheer bitterness and derision within. Not directed toward Moshe, but himself. "You're the sole reason why I am still alive right now… how can I ever regret anything that has to do with you?"2

Moshe automatically thought that Lu Yizhou was talking about his difficult time in the gladiator arena. In a way, with Moshe purchasing him out of that place, it was akin to giving Lu Yizhou a second chance in life.

Lu Yizhou's hand reached out to grasp a lock of Moshe's hair, twirling it between his fingers before bringing it to his lips. "In my hellish life, you're my only miracle, my light, my salvation… the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. The one and only."

Moshe's breath stuttered and his grip on Lu Yizhou's collar faltered. The solemnity beneath Lu Yizhou's gaze told him that every single word the man had said was an ultimate truth. 

Moshe… Moshe had no idea how to react to that. He had never had someone who put him on such a high pedestal, who worshiped the ground he walked on, who would adore him no matter how twisted he actually was. Not only because of his looks, his wealth or position… but because he was himself — Moshe. 

"You talk so big." He averted his eyes, mumbling. "All I did was to buy you from that place. Ten million dollars is just a meager amount in my eyes. But you—"

"Am I a burden?" Nobody had ever interrupted Moshe when he spoke — only Lu Yizhou, again. It was scary how merciful Moshe was when it came to him. If it was any other person, he would have already cut their throat. Moshe had only intended to rebuke him when the sentence finally registered in his mind. In an instant, he was rendered speechless, feeling oddly bare as if Lu Yizhou's silver eyes had managed to pierce through his walls and see through everything, even the ones he had painstakingly hidden. Lu Yizhou continued in a quiet voice, "My feelings… are they a burden to you?"

"Tell me..." He said, looking intently into Moshe's eyes. "Tell me what's on your mind."

Stop, Moshe gritted his teeth, knuckles trembling. Stop looking at him like that. Stop making him feel so untethered, as if he was going to lose every foundation he had set beneath his feet. Stop asking this kind of question. 

Yes, it was a burden. There was a reason why Moshe added a clause in his contract claiming that as soon as his toys developed unwanted feelings towards him, the relationship between them would immediately be severed. Moshe didn't do feelings and if he adhered to his principles, he should have sent Lu Yizhou away the very first time Lu Yizhou had confessed to him.

But what had he done? He disregarded everything and pulled Lu Yizhou into a kiss, taunting him, basking in his attention, continue to play to his heart's content, took delight in the way Lu Yizhou only had eyes on him and him alone—

He was still thinking as to how to deflect Lu Yizhou's questions as always when the man suddenly spoke. "I understand."

It startled Moshe out of his thoughts. He frowned. "What did you just say?"

Lu Yizhou propped himself up by an elbow and simultaneously grabbed Moshe's waist so the latter could settle more comfortably in his lap. At some point, Moshe had forgotten that his bottom half was still bare and Lu Yizhou's cum was still inside his ass. Once he sat down, more thick essence trickled down his thigh and Moshe stiffened. He had forgotten to wash it off because he was too busy dealing with his brooding pet! This was all Lu Yizhou's fault! Alas, there was no escaping now because Lu Yizhou's grip on him was almost crushing, digging right into the sore spot on his waist.

Moshe flinched, hissing. "You—"

"I understand. Don't worry… I won't say something like that anymore." There wasn't a hint of joke in his tone, Moshe realized. He was completely serious.

For some reason, Moshe's heart lurched in his chest. The man's silver eyes were indecipherable, rendering Moshe unable to guess what was in his mind. But one thing for certain was… the resignation and helplessness within. As if he had come to an important decision. "I'm sorry, I have never truly put myself in your shoes. Forcing my feelings toward you like this… is no different than the bastardly things I have done earlier."

What…? Moshe blinked, his hackles rising in the next second. What did he mean by that? He was going to say 'I'm sorry' and 'forget everything' just like that?! How dare he! He had turned Moshe's world upside down like this and in the end, he wanted to ditch all responsibility—

"I will wait." Lu Yizhou gave a slight smile. A genuine one this time. He looked ridiculously gorgeous with his eyes glistening with tears and damp lashes that clumped together, so much that Moshe's heart squeezed. "If you don't want to discuss it… then we won't. As long as you know it deep within, then it will be enough for me. I only want you to know that… I will not become your weakness, ever. On the contrary, I will be your strength, your shield, your weapon and your power." 

He bumped their foreheads together and Moshe felt it akin to a blow straight on his gut, squeezing the air out of his lungs. "Allow me to continue staying by your side… to be your pet, your entertainment, your bodyguard — anything. You're not going to ignore your lowly pet's sole wish, right, Master?" Lu Yizhou's eyes twinkled with something akin to tease and it alleviated the tense atmosphere between them. 

Moshe felt the tight coil around his stomach slowly loosening. "What the fuck. Can you actually read minds?"

Lu Yizhou merely chuckled. 

Now that he had gotten his feet on the solid ground again, Moshe slowly regained his bearings. He turned his nose up to the air and harrumphed. "Stay by my side? Do you need to ask for that, pet? I've told you, as long as you're unable to pay back the ten million dollars I have spent on you, I will break your legs and hunt you down if you dare to escape from me again."

"Not anymore." Lu Yizhou's breath fanned his face and in the next second, a gentle kiss landed on the corner of his lips, lingering like a pious vow. They had shared kisses countless times before yet somehow, this one kiss felt more electrifying than all of them combined. Moshe's skin tingled where Lu Yizhou had touched and numbness traveled to his scalp. His breathing turned shallow and the muscles below his abdomen he had no idea existed clenched in response.

Lu Yizhou's lips slowly moved to kiss his upper lip this time, just a gentle peck. From such a position, Moshe could see nothing but the swirling stars within his eyes, brighter than anything he had ever seen before. "I am yours… indefinitely. Until you no longer need me, until the day you decide you can no longer endure my presence… until then, I will remain by your side." 

Moshe's lashes quivered, his eyes falling shut. The solemn words gathered around him like a gust of warm spring breeze after the prolonged winter and he inhaled them deeply. It burned him. It made him delirious… dizzy with the shimmering arousal. It made him desire in a way that was no longer limited to physical. 

Yes, he had always lusted after Lu Yizhou sexually and he wasn't ashamed to show it. But without him realizing, greediness had taken root in between his ribcage, caging his heart with their thorny vines. He might have realized early on but… he resolutely turned them away. He not only wanted the man's body, but his gaze, his breath, his words, his touch, his thoughts… he wanted to occupy them and made them his own. 

Was it normal to be this possessive toward another? Moshe didn't know and… he didn't care either. He held onto Lu Yizhou's words like a shield, preventing himself from being poked by the thorns. They were good like this, weren't they? There was no need to change… right?

With the life he lived, Moshe doubted that he would be able to acknowledge Lu Yizhou's feelings… ever. Was it too cruel? Moshe wanted him but then, he pushed him away when he got too close. Moshe closed his eyes. What was wrong with him? Anyway, he had always been cruel since day one. It wasn't like everyone, especially Lu Yizhou, didn't know it.

Moshe placed his palm on Lu Yizhou's chest and pushed, taking the man off guard as his back met the soft surface of the bed with a thump. "If I am not wrong… you said you're going to make it up for me? Is that true?"

Lu Yizhou's throat bobbed. "Yes, Master. Anything you want."

Oh, Moshe liked that sentence the most. "Wait here." He gave that one order before lifting himself off Lu Yizhou and the bed altogether, decisively ignoring the stickiness between his legs and the soreness on a few embarrassing spots on his body as he strolled to the walk-in cabinet. 

He looked around his extensive collection of props. The floor to ceiling cabinet consisted of tens of glass partitions, each holding the prop he often used; the whip, flogger, ropes, candles and many more. Below was a large drawer where he used to store the chains and metal cages. He would like to test them on Lu Yizhou later but now… he looked around and finally found what he was looking for. 

Moshe had it custom made along with Lu Yizhou's collar, it was a matching set. He initially thought he was going to use it after he had trained his pet longer but… what was the most suitable time than now?

The corner of Moshe's lips curled into a wicked smirk. Oh Lu Yizhou was going to suffer but he could… he definitely could take it, Moshe was certain. 

He clasped the monstrous silver dildo in his hand and weighed it around, fingers trailing on the ridges on the underside which he was sure would drag on Lu Yizhou's inside deliciously. The dildo was easily as thick as his arm, even thicker than Lu Yizhou's stupidly large dick, and most importantly… the base of the dildo flared into a bulbous knot which Moshe could enlarge with a press on the switch.

Moshe grinned sharply.

He was going to 'knot' Lu Yizhou's ass and wrecked the man until he was reduced into jumbled nerves of pleasure. Only then would they be even.

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