Read Page 86

“Oh yes. He’s really excited! He’s been to all the classes and everything!”

God, I can’t believe in a few weeks’ time Suze will have a baby. I won’t even be here.Advertisement

“Can I touch?” I put my hand gingerly on Suze’s stomach. “I can’t feel anything.”

“That’s all right,” says Suze. “I expect it’s asleep.”

“Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?”

“I haven’t found out.” Suze leans forward earnestly. “But I kind of think it’s a girl, because I keep being drawn to all these sweet little dresses in the shops. Like a kind of a craving? And they say in all the books, your body will tell you what it needs. So, you know, maybe that’s a sign.”

“So, what are you going to call her?”

“We can’t decide. It’s so hard! You know, you buy these books, and all the names are crap…” She takes a sip of tea. “What would you call a baby?”

“Ooh! I don’t know! Maybe Lauren, after Ralph Lauren.” I think for a few moments. “Or Dolce.”

“Dolce Cleath-Stuart,” says Suze thoughtfully. “I quite like that! We could call her Dolly for short.”

“Or Vera. After Vera Wang.”

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“Vera?” Suze stares at me. “I’m not calling my baby Vera!”

“We’re not talking about your baby!” I retort. “We’re talking about mine. Vera Lauren Comme des Brandon. I think that’s got a really good ring to it.”

“Vera Brandon sounds like a character off Coronation Street! But I like Dolce. What about if it was a boy?”

“Harvey. Or Barney,” I say after a little thought. “Depending on whether it was born in London or New York.”

I take another sip of hot chocolate — then look up, to see Suze gazing at me seriously.

“You wouldn’t really have a baby in America, would you, Bex?”

“I… I don’t know. Who can tell? We probably won’t have children for years yet!”

“You know, we all really miss you.”

“Oh, not you, too, Suze.” I give a half-laugh. “I had Mum on at me today to move back to Oxshott.”

“Well, it’s true! Tarkie was saying the other day, London just isn’t the same without you.”

“Really?” I gaze at her, feeling ridiculously touched.

“And your mum keeps asking me if I think you’ll stay in New York forever… you won’t, will you?”

“I honestly don’t know,” I say helplessly. “It all depends on Luke… and his business…”

“He’s not the boss!” says Suze. “You have a say, too. Do you want to stay out there?”

“I don’t know.” I screw up my face, trying to explain. “Sometimes I think I do. When I’m in New York, it seems like the most important place in the world. My job is fantastic, and the people are fantastic, and it’s all wonderful. But when I come home, suddenly I think, Hang on, this is my home. This is where I belong.” I pick up a sugar packet and begin to shred it. “I just don’t know whether I’m ready to come home yet.”

“Oh, come back to England and have a baby!” says Suze wheedlingly. “Then we can be mummies together!”

“Honestly, Suze!” I take a sip of chocolate, rolling my eyes. “Like I’m really ready to have a baby!” I get up to go to the ladies’ room before she can say anything else.

On the other hand… she has got a point. Why shouldn’t I have a baby? Other people do — so why not me? I mean, if I could somehow bypass the actual having it bit. Maybe I could have one of those operations where you go to sleep and don’t feel anything. And then when I woke up I’d have a baby!

I have a sudden pleasant vision of Suze and me walking up the road together, pushing prams. That might be quite fun, actually. I mean, you can buy loads of gorgeous baby things these days. Like cute little hats, and tiny denim jackets… And — yes — doesn’t Gucci do a really cool baby sling?

We could have cappuccinos together, and walk round the shops, and… I mean, that’s basically all mothers do, isn’t it? Now that I think about it, I’d be perfect at it!

I must definitely have a chat with Luke.

It’s not until we’re leaving Oriel that Suze says, “So, Bex, you haven’t told me anything about the wedding!”

My stomach gives a little swoop, and I turn my head away, under the pretense of putting on my coat.

I’d kind of managed to forget about the whole wedding issue. pqdm.com