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Tears are streaming down my face by now, and I can see Janice and Martin studiously staring in at the special offers to Morocco as though they’re gripped by them.

‘No!’ Minnie’s gazing up at me in distress. ‘No cry!’Advertisement

‘OK.’ Luke’s voice suddenly rings out, and I look up to see him striding towards us. ‘I’ve sorted it. They’re putting us up—’ He breaks off and looks from face to face. ‘What’s up? What’s happened?’

Mum says nothing, her mouth just tightens.

‘Nothing,’ I mutter miserably. ‘We were just … talking.’

‘Right,’ says Luke, clearly flummoxed. ‘Well, I’ve negotiated a two-bedroom serviced apartment at The West Place until they find us alternative accommodation.’

‘The West Place!’ Janice turns round from the travel agent’s window. ‘We saw that on TV! Remember, Martin, that lovely new hotel with the rooftop spa? With all the mosaics?’

‘Yes, well, I wasn’t taking any shit.’ Luke flashes her a brief smile. ‘We can move in today, the stuff will go into storage …’ He trails off, clearly aware of the tension in the air. ‘So … is that OK by you? Becky?’

‘Mum should take it.’ The words come out of my mouth even before I’ve properly thought them through. ‘Mum and Dad should have it.’

‘O-kaay,’ says Luke hesitantly. ‘Well, that’s certainly one way to do it …’

‘We’ve put Mum and Dad out for all this time, and now we’ve let them down. We should let them enjoy the luxury apartment. And then … regroup.’

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I’m staring into the middle distance; I can’t bring myself to look at Mum. Luke’s head is swivelling between us as though for clues; I can see Janice mouthing something urgently at him.

‘Jane?’ Luke says finally. ‘Would that suit you? To stay in The West Place for a little while?’

‘It would suit very well,’ says Mum in clipped, unnatural tones. ‘Thank you, Luke. I’ll just call Graham and tell him.’

Mum obviously can’t look at me either. Well, good thing we won’t be living together any more.

‘I’ll take Minnie to look at the shops,’ I say, taking Minnie’s hand. ‘Let me know when it’s time to go home.’

We eventually make it home by four o’clock. Mum and Dad went back first, and packed some things, and Luke settled them into the serviced apartment, which apparently is amazingly swanky. Not that I want to hear about it.

I’ve made Minnie her tea and put on Peppa Pig and am sitting by the fire, staring morosely into the flames, when Luke arrives back. He heads into the room and just watches me for a moment.

‘Becky, come on. What’s up between you and your mum?’

‘Sssh!’ says Minnie crossly and points at the TV. ‘Peppa!’

‘Nothing.’ I turn away.

‘Something’s going on,’ Luke persists, crouching down beside my chair. ‘I’ve never known you and your mum like this before.’

I look at him silently as answers crowd into my mind.

She thinks I can’t throw you a party. She thinks it’ll all be a failure. And deep down, I’m petrified she might be right.

‘Just mother-daughter stuff,’ I say eventually.

‘Huh.’ He raises a sceptical eyebrow. ‘Well, I’m glad we’ve got some time alone. There’s something I want to talk to you about.’

He draws up a chair and I watch a little apprehensively.

‘You were right, Becky,’ he says frankly. ‘I was keeping something from you. And I’m sorry. But I wanted to be sure before I said anything.’

Instantly my mood lifts. He’s going to tell me about Sage Seymour! Yes! Maybe we’re all going to meet up tonight! Maybe he wants to take us out for dinner at the Ivy or somewhere! I know she’s filming at Pinewood Studios at the moment, because I Googled her. (Simply because I take an interest in my husband’s career like any supportive wife would.)

Oh, this will totally make up for a shitty day. And I can wear that Nanette Lepore dress I’ve never worn, with my pink Vivienne Westwood shoes.

‘Don’t worry, Luke.’ I beam at him. ‘I know you have to be discreet.’

Maybe she’ll ask me to be her personal shopper! Maybe Luke has recommended me! I could dress her for the Golden Globes. I could go to the Golden Globes. I mean, she’ll need someone to make sure her hem’s straight—

‘I’ve recently been in touch with a contact I have. A guy who represents … celebrities,’ Luke says slowly. pqdm.com